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“I’m not bluffing. If you grow that beard back, you’ll need directional signs down there, because I’ll let it all go to hell,” she promises him.
“I’m going to kill someone if the subject doesn’t change from my sister’s vagina. Now,” Killian says seriously, holding out a butter knife like it’s his weapon of choice.
“How’d you get that date?” I ask Hale again, lips twitching when he’s happy to answer this time.
“Just asked her out. She and her sister are in town while they figure out what to do with their late grandmother’s old cabin, so Killian has a date tomorrow too.”
“No, I don’t,” Killian is fast to answer as he stands.
“Yes, you do,” Hale calls to his back as Killian abruptly leaves, which isn’t uncommon.
“No, I don’t,” he says without hesitation on his way out.
“You hit on a girl who just lost her grandmother?” Lilah asks as she shakes her head. “She’s vulnerable. That’s how you got the date.”
“I’ll take a date for tomorrow,” Hunter immediately tells Hale with a serious face. “The sister should be vulnerable too.”
“Such dicks,” Lilah says with a wrinkled nose.
It’s not a coincidence the popsicle is staying at a cabin an older woman used to own on the same day a fancy chick intentionally comes Tomahawk. I bet that popsicle is normally sort of fancy when she’s not dying.
Tomahawk is too small to have two new girls here on the same day unless they’re sisters.
“Actually, I’m going,” I say to Hale.
“Too late,” Hunter argues, eyes turning to slits as he faces me. “I called dibs.”
“Actually, I called dibs,” Shade adds, holding up one finger. “In my head.”
“Guess there’s only one way to settle this battle of the dicks,” Lilah chimes in, grinning like the fucking devil she is.
“Not in here!” Mathew harps, and then runs to the door. “Vick! Come back! You’re supposed to stay until they’re all gone!”
“Vick already left. Should someone tell him that?” Benson asks on a sigh similar to the sigh Vick uses a lot.
“You up for it, little brother?” I ask Hunter, lips twitching when he fights to keep a badass expression, even though I always win our challenges.
“This is the first time I’ll win.”
“Not in here!” Mathew shouts again.
“How the hell are they going to slide across the ice on their stomachs in here?” Lilah asks, and Hunter groans.
I also stifle a groan. Shit. I hate ice burn.
Mathew sags to a chair like he’s relieved, and we all stand to head out to the ice.
“To the ice!” Lilah shouts as she jumps up onto the top of the table and fist pumps the air.
Her eyes widen when something cracks, and suddenly the table collapses on one side. I narrowly dodge a plate that flies up, and three plates crash through the window beside us, as Lilah collapses to the ground, getting covered by uneaten food.
“Noooo!” Mathew groans as we all kick back our chairs to escape the raining food.
Benson groans while pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why am I not surprised?” he mutters under his breath.
“That was totally unexpected. I swear. I haven’t gained that much married weight,” Lilah states from the ground, knocking food off her as she tries to get to her feet.
She slips three times before succeeding, and starts wiping ketchup off her stomach when she finally gets to her feet and realizes her shirt is pushed up.
“You are looking a little chubbier than usual,” Hale deadpans.
I leave them behind when Lilah starts chasing her idiot brother around the rest of the tables. Mathew starts spraying them with the sink hose and shouting for them to get out.
I have a challenge to win and a popsicle to revisit. It’d probably be creepy to say it’s because I know what she looks like naked. I’ll think of a better reason before my date.
Wild Ones Tip #481
We’re like a Jack-in-the-Box. Don’t wind us up if you don’t want us to pop out and surprise you.
Chapter 3
PIPER
*******
“Are the roads still icy? How can we trust strangers to drive us around on that? I almost died coming up that damn hill yesterday,” I say to the only person I know who actually finds herself a ‘sexy mountain man’ in the mountains.
Unbelievable.
“The snow has covered up most of the ice now. Last night was sketchy getting back, but today seems a little better. Definitely glad we spend the holidays in the mountains now,” Reese says as she finishes contouring her cheeks, moving on to her mascara now.
“Not these mountains. And do you know how dangerous it is to be in a strange place and invite strange men—we know nothing about—out to our secluded cabin in the woods?” I go on, slightly berating her a little because she’s being insane, unreasonable, and inconveniently impulsive.
“A man innocently spooned your frozen body to help save your life, and then left his sister to see after you instead of sticking around to say you owed him something,” she points out. “And I checked the crime rate of this town. It’s laughable. There’s a raccoon on a freaking “Wanted” poster. He’s apparently quite the silver thief.”
