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“The deal’s almost closed. I was thinking of taking a skiing trip with Silas once it goes through.”
I freeze at the mention of his name.
“Maybe not right away. Did you want to come? Jimmy will have school, but we could hit the slopes together. Or you could drink hot cocoa and draw and get inspiration.”
I rub my cheeks as I turn my face away. I’m glad it’s dark, so he can’t see the tears. I quickly get them under control.
“Yeah, that could be really good, Dad.”
“I thought maybe we’d…I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”
I sit up, knowing I can’t put myself first here. It’s rare Dad seems like he wants to talk about his emotions. Even if the topic stings me or Silas’ name runs through me with hot compulsion, I want to be there for Dad.
“It does,” I tell him.
“It’s kind of sappy,” Dad says, sitting on the chair next to me.
“That’s all right. I can take it.”
He grins at my tone, then sighs. “I thought maybe Silas and I were drifting apart. But after the meeting yesterday, it was like all the years apart drifted away. We were those two young men again, fighting to make something special, you know?”
I reach over, hugging his arm and laying my cheek against him. “Yeah, Dad, I know. That’s awesome.”
So that seals it. It has to.
The little hearts around Silas’ name don’t matter.
He’ll have to find somebody else to finish the tattoo. We have to end this.
Back to the status quo likeit never happened.
* * *
Three days pass, each of them feeling longer and more painful. I try not to let thoughts of Silas catch up with me, especially since business is picking up and my client base is spreading.
My days have been busy though. I feel proud I’ll be able to pay toward the household expenses.
Dad always tells me I don’t need to.“I’ll just give it all back to you when you move out.”
I love the smile on his face.“You do that if you want. But at least paying bills won’t be a shock.”
These are the memories I try to cling to as I travel from client to client, sketch, or go to a movie with my friend.
All the little moments we’ve shared.
All the reasons it’s a good thing Silas hasn’t reached out to me.
“What’d you think?”
Jimmy pushes his drawing across the coffee table, jolting me from my thoughts.
I’m sitting on the floor, the TV playing quietly from the corner of the room, Jimmy crossed-legged opposite me.
I look down at his picture. “This is really good. You’ve made Thor seem very realistic.”
“This. Is. Really. Good.” Jimmy does a robot voice. “Thor. Very. Real.”
I roll my eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
