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I remove my hand as though the mention of Dad’s name causes me pain.
“I know,” I say quietly. “When I walked into your office, I didn’t think you even recognized me.”
“I didn’t,” he says. “I just saw….”
“What?” I urge, sure he was going to say,my woman.
“A beautiful woman,” he says. “A woman who’s starting to make me become obsessed with her.”
“Obsess, you?” I whisper, moving closer, wishing we could kiss, knowing we can’t.
“That’s right,” he says, holding my gaze steadily. “But it will ruin Julian’s life. It would kill him.”
“Do you think so?” I ask.
Silas tilts his head at me. “No man wants to learn that his daughter and his best friend are dating.”
The worddatingmakes it sound so much smaller than this is.
I wonder if I should tell Silas –But maybe he’d understand if we said we wanted to spend our lives together. There’s a chance he might…if we were forever.
“Thanks for sharing all that stuff with me,” I say instead. “I know it must’ve been hard. And I’m sorry for throwing it in your face. I hate that I did that.”
“You didn’t know who she was,” Silas says. “Now you know why this tattoo means so much. I miss him. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”
I apply the needle again and, for a little while, I work in silence.
Then a thought occurs to me.
“Silas, you said the nightmares have stopped?”
“Yeah,” he replies.
“By staring at that piece of paper?”
“Yeah. But it’s more than staring.”
I wipe at his skin carefully, focusing on my work but also invested in the conversation. I wonder if this is the start offeelinglike a tattooist, not being so absorbed I can’t also speak with the client.
Or maybe it’s just because everything’s easier with my man.
“What do you mean?”
“I stare at her name, at what I did when I wasn’t aware of it, and I remember all the pain. I remember hearing what she did to my dad. I make myself face it. I think that’s what does it—staring right at it. But only when I’m holding the paper. The rest of the time, I ignore it.”
“You face up to it…alone,” I murmur. “That’s brave.”
But we’re not facing up to much else.
“I’ve never had somebody to talk about it with before.”
“You do now,” I say, voice heavy with emotion.
After a pause, he says, “Have you ever jumped out of a plane, Lauren?”
“No,” I reply with a nervous laugh. “The idea terrifies me, honestly. I’ve been scared of it ever since I was a kid, and Dad first told mehe’ddone it. Jimmy wants to do it, though.”
“You could do it,” Silas says, with warmth in his voice. “You’re braver than you think. I’m wondering…maybe I should take you up. We could skydive together and share a meal.”
