Page 51 of Cold Salvation


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“Get out of my house.” My mother spoke so quietly, I must’ve misheard her.

“Mom? What?”

“Get the HECK out of my house,” she screeched. She flung the covers off me then went to my closet while I sat there stunned. “I will not have the Devil in this house, Joseph. I won’t.”

While she flung clothes at me, she spoke of my blasphemous ways. She said I wasn’t her son anymore, but a demon that the devil was using as his vessel. Through it all, I sat on my bed, shocked to my core. It wasn’t until my father came back, forced a shirt over me, and dragged me screaming out of my childhood home that I realized this was truly happening.

“Son, you can come back once you have your perversion under control. But you need to be with those professionals who can help you conquer this. Go to the pastor, confess your sins, ask him for a referral to that special boy’s home. He’ll get you right in. We’ll be praying for you.”

The Lees found me outside of their house that night after walking around half clothed. It had rained and I was soaked through to my skin. Mrs. Lee helped me into the tub to warm up. Then her and Hana’s father listened to my story. They told me I could stay with them. I never pressed charges against Adam. I went on with my life without telling anyone else what happened. Sometimes I still feel the physical pain of that assault.

Hana only knew the bare minimum, but it was enough that she should know exactly what this rejection would do to me. A whooshing sounded in my head blocking out anything else Hana wanted to say to us in this moment. I was done. I was sick of showing her I was there for her. I was tired of trying to be the glue.

“I think you should go,” I blurted out. Hana had been in the middle of a sentence, but I didn’t care. I just couldn’t look at her face right now. It was better this way. It wasn’t like she had nowhere to go. She could head downstairs withherhusband and leave me in peace.

“But this is my apartment.” The hurt on her face deepened as I crossed my arms waiting for her to go through the door.

“What did you expect? That you could continuously reject me, and I’d keep opening my arms to you?” Some might say I wasn’t being a good friend right now, but who would protect my heart? I was tired of the wishy-washy bullshit.

“That’s not for you to throw in her face, ass wipe,” Logan stepped in.

“Now you're protecting her?” I whirled on him. “As toxic as you both are together, at least you both have each other. What do I have? Neither of you is risking anything for me.” I walked toward the front door. “If you won’t leave, I will, but I expect you to be gone tonight.” I said to Hana before storming out of the apartment.

Was that it? Years of friendship thrown down the drain, but for what? Because they didn’t know how to commit to me and each other without jealousy?

I needed a drink and, more importantly I needed a friend. Since I would only have access to one of those things tonight. I headed to the bar.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Logan

“What the fuck was that about?”

Hana sighed and sank onto the couch. “Joseph’s parents kicked him out when he was younger, and he doesn’t take rejection well. But I wasn’t trying to reject him.”

“I’m going to be serious with you for a minute, Hana. Is this the route you want to take? You could lose your best friend forever if it all falls apart.”

As much as it pained me, I felt like Hana was grieving and that’s why she lashed out on all of us. Maybe there was more to it, but eventually, she can’t keep blaming grief. Not that she claimed she was. She wouldn’t even speak of it.

“I might have already lost him.”

“He didn’t mean it.” I pulled her into my embrace. “Look, emotions are high right now. Why don’t you come back to our place and give him some space?” I couldn’t believe I was trying to be the peacekeeper right now. The man would’ve literally fucked my wife if I hadn’t walked in and stopped them.

“No, if I leave now, I won’t see him again.” Hana crossed her arms.

“What makes you say that?” I really didn’t understand how they functioned.

“It’s just a gut feeling I have. If I leave tonight, I’m going to lose him, Logan.” Her voice cracked at the end. Fuck.

“Right, new plan. How about we order some comfort food, watch your favorite show in your room, and wait for him to come back home?” I grabbed my phone ready to get her whatever she needed.

“I don’t think you should be here when he gets here. I think I need to speak with him alone,” she whispered.

I’m not going to say it. I’m not going to say it.

“So, you both can fuck like you were going to on the couch earlier?” Oh, shit. I said it.

“You can’t keep us away from each other,” Hana snapped.

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