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“Don’t act so surprised.” I watch in fascination as he starts to unbutton his shirt. My eyes zero in on the action of his fingers. “Freedom is elusive for those of us in this part of society. We are never free from expectations and obligations. I’ve accepted mine for the most part but that doesn’t mean it’s what I want. I just believe there are battles you fight and some you accept. I decided not to fight this battle the way you do.” The last button is undone and I watch as he strips the shirt from his body. His golden skin looks amazing under these muted lights.
I cross my arms in an attempt to keep my hands to themselves. “So, why bring me to your boat?”
“You asked for freedom…this is my freedom. I’m sharing it with you for the night.” My eyes seem to be unable to look anywhere else as his dress slacks hit the floor and he steps out of them. Duke is completely unphased by my presence. He slips on a pair of basketball shorts. When he turns around and notices I’ve been watching his every move his eyes darken, jaw clenches just like my body. “I’ll head up so you can change.” Duke makes a dash for the stairs, leaving his clothes scattered. However, I finally feel like I can breathe with him on the deck. Only problem is…when I take a deep breath I’m surrounded by him.
Six
Duke
I had to get back to the deck quickly before I made a huge mistake. The moment the breeze from the ocean hits me in the face I realize just how affected I am by Penelope. It’s always been there but we’ve never really spent time alone together. Only in passing or for brief moments in time. Tonight…is a test—and if what just happened downstairs is any indication, it’s a test I’m going to fail. I’ve never failed at much in life but this is different. For all of my life I’ve worked hard to be the person everyone expects me to be. Staying away from Penelope is expected. It's an unspoken understanding between Chadwick and I. I stay clear of Penelope. He stays clear of Farrah and Londynn. As if merely thinking about her can make her appear, Penelope stands behind me. When I turn around, I’m knocked speechless. The sweats and t-shirt are too big but she’s taken the t-shirt and tied a knot on the side to make it hug her body. Her face is clear of makeup and half of her hair is pulled back away from her face. “I hope you don’t mind. I used a washcloth to clean some of my makeup off.”
For a moment I forget how to speak. She’s so breathtakingly stunning, standing there. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
“This place is fully stocked. Is this place like your bachelor pad or something?” she asks. Slowly and carefully she makes her way across the deck. As she nears me my heart rate kicks up into overdrive.
I know what my reputation is. I understand why it precedes me. For the most part I’m fine with it. It simplifies things because everyone knows what they are signing up for. There are no expectations or hurt feelings, but for some reason, I despise the thought of Penelope seeing me like that. My mind wanders to so many things where she’s concerned…the biggest thing I’m wondering is if things could be different with her. It’s a foolish notion and one I’ll never find out the answer to. There’s too much at stake. My shoulders shrug in response to her question and I see the disappointment instantly on her face. Before I stop myself I reply, “It’s not my bachelor pad. This is the one place I find the freedom you talk about. I don’t bring girls here. You’re the first.”
I walk over and take a seat along the railing of the boat and watch as the water moves under the moonlight. Penelope takes a seat beside me. Her sweet vanilla and brown sugar scent engulfing me. I’ll never complain about that. “Duke?” I turn to meet her eyes and I see her cheeks are flushed. “That makes me feel kind of special.”
“You are special,” I admit quietly. It’s not a lie and honestly there isn’t a ton that could be messed up by that confession. I just graduated high school and I’ll be off at college by the end of the summer while Penelope will still be here. We don’t have a lot of time even if something did happen.
She shakes her head and stands up before walking away. I watch the way her hips sway before she turns around her eyes blazing. “You can’t say stuff like that to me.”
Okay, that just gave me whiplash. “Why not?” I stand up and move toward her. “It’s the truth so why deny it? I’ve fought it long enough, don’t you think?”
Penelope’s mouth falls open in shock. Her eyes wide as my words sink in. Her chest rises and falls a beat faster. In all my life I’ve never seen Penelope Wallace speechless, but she is now. “What are you saying?”
My tongue has suddenly seized up. What am I saying? I was literally just telling myself that I couldn't cross this line and yet here I am daring myself to do exactly that. It makes no sense but everything about this moment just feels right. Two steps and Penelope and I are toe to toe. Her chest heaves and she rings her hands while avoiding looking up at me. Against my better judgment I slip a finger under her chin and urge her to look up at me. I don’t speak, I just lean down and ever so slightly press my lips to hers. I wait for some indication that she wants this as much as I do. Moments pass and just as the slight feeling of embarrassment starts to wiggle its way into my head, Penelope’s hands grasp my biceps, nails digging into my skin. Her mouth parts slightly, the open invitation I was looking for. My hands tangle in her hair as I claim her.
I’m in trouble, so much trouble. I didn’t think I’d ever find out the answer to my question but I just did. It’s so different with Penelope because she is different for me. My heart slams around erratically in my chest. I’ve never felt so out of control in my life, stripped bare for her to see every last piece of me. When I pull back I rest my forehead against hers. Our breathing is labored and mingles between us. “That’s what I was saying.”
“I like this talk,” she says with a flirtatious smirk.
Later that night after hours of kissing and roaming hands Penelope sits up from the spot where we lay in the bed under the deck. “What’s wrong?” I ask her as I trace the length of her spine with one finger. Goosebumps grow on her skin.
She looks over her shoulder at me. “You never did tell me why this boat was fully stocked.”
“It’s my last night in town.” Her eyes widen and she stands up abruptly.
The distance between us is felt instantly. A slight, unfamiliar panic fills me. This is uncharted territory for me. I’m not used to being so connected to someone. It may have only been tonight but it’s been years in the making and this might have been the first night that I’ve felt…like myself…in all of my life. “When were you going to tell me?”
My head falls between my shoulders. I see the hurt in her eyes before I look away. “I don’t know. I’m leaving to sail around before college. Greece is my final destination if I manage to make it that far.”
A strangled sound escapes Penelope and when I look up at her I see the moisture swimming in her eyes. “So, what is tonight then?”
Quickly I stand up and take her in my arms. “Tonight is everything. You don’t understand.” Her tears drop onto my bare chest and run down my heated skin, cooling it instantly. Without hesitation, a thought forms in my head and slips from my tongue as easy as melted butter. “Come with me.”
I swear Penelope stops breathing. After a few silent moments she steps back. “What?”
“Come with me this summer.”
She crosses her arms over her chest like she’s suddenly scared of being hurt. “Why?”
“Because I don’t know what will happen to us in the future. I do know I don’t want this night to end Penelope. I’m a man of very few words, as you know, which leads to very few feelings—but you…being with you…it’s so different. You breathe air into me in a way I didn’t know was possible. So, I’m asking again…Penelope Wallace, will you please come with me?” I ask as I move across the space between us until we are standing toe to toe again.
She shakes her head. “This is crazy. I’ve been in love with you all of my life and suddenly you’re asking me to come with you.” I remain quiet while she makes her decision. I don’t want to sway her either way but I will admit saying she’s in love with me makes my heart tumble around like a maniac. “We’ll always have the summer?”
My head nods in agreement. “We’ll always have the summer. It’ll be great and you’ll be happy. I promise you that.” Penelope smiles up at me and rises to her tiptoes to press her lips to mine. The next morning at sunrise we leave the dock, in search of a summer full of love and freedom. As I stare at her I can’t help but feel a piece of my heart leave. It’ll never be mine again. It’s forever hers now.
Epilogue
Duke
The summer sailing the ocean with Penelope was my last glimmer of hope. It was everything I could have asked for and more. It was love and happiness but the minute we docked back in Los Angeles after leaving the summer vacation in Hampton Falls…all hell broke loose. Penelope was yanked from me and my world without a moment’s notice. My heart shattered in a way I didn’t think was fully possible and the next thing I knew I became a shell of who I used to be.
The world around me lost its color and I lost myself. Penelope was shipped off and never heard from again basically. Chadwick cuts ties with me, not that I blame him, but my last lifeline had thrown me to the sharks. I was left to drown in my loss and bitterness, morphing into the man I am today. Don’t get me wrong…he’s rich, handsome and has the world at his feet. Well, everything except the one thing he still wants. The one thing his bitter, cold, broken heart still yearns for…Penelope.
She’s been gone for years. Her memories fade like the seasons change from summer to autumn. However, that small, helpless flicker of hope still simmers in my heart. I try to extinguish it because it’s futile to hope for something you’ll never see again…at least that’s what I thought until she showed up in my office, twelve years later…
