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“Yeah, and can you believe what he told me? He told me it was because I wasn’t meeting his needs, since I was saving myself for after the wedding,” she said softly.
I had no idea that she had been a virgin when we were together earlier. That meant that Jackson was her first.
“He told me that once we were married and I was giving him sex regularly, he wouldn’t need the other women.”
My blood began to boil hearing those words.
“What a prick,” I said. My teeth clenched, as did my fists at my side. I had never been one to have anger issues like Jackson or Aiden, but suddenly I found myself wanting to punch something… preferably her ex’s face if he hadn’t been on the other side of the world. “You deserve so much better than that, Harper.”
“I know, I knew right away that what he had done was unforgivable and I refuse to be treated like that, which is why I called off the wedding. But to think he was willing to throw everything we had away for a blowjob? Did I really mean so little to him?”
“He’s not worth it, Harper. This is on him; he's a selfish asshole and it has nothing to do with you not being good enough.”
From what I had seen of her in that short amount of time, she was absolutely amazing. Any man would be lucky to marry her.
“I’m sorry for letting it all out, I haven’t really talked about it much with anyone. Not even Kat. I mean, she tries to understand… but unless you’ve lived it, it’s really hard to comprehend the feelings involved. I have to apologize for not reaching out to you after I heard what happened with Carly. It was just… well, I was feeling a bit selfish myself, and still not over what had happened, but you didn’t deserve that.”
“Thank you, Harper.”
She pulled herself together and cleared her throat. “Anyway, that’s not why I came here. I wanted to ask you about your feelings on telling Kat what happened between us.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Kat may not take the news well.”
“I know. Jackson is fine with it and Aiden seems to think she won’t mind because she’s a modern woman and all that, but I don’t think they fully grasp how angry she still is with the three of you.”
Hearing those words, that my little sister was angry at me, was like a gut punch, but it was also no surprise. We had been little assholes to her growing up and well into young adulthood. It wasn’t shocking to hear that she wanted very little to do with us.
“I think you’re right. She is a modern woman with modern ideas about love and sex, but we are her brothers and that comes with a lot of complex emotions.”
“I agree,” Harper said. “But at the same time, I don’t think I can keep it from her. I’ve kept too many things from her already, I have too many secrets and it makes it hard to look at myself in the mirror sometimes.”
“What kind of secrets?” I was shocked that sweet Harper Olson could have anything so big and bad hidden away in her closet that she would feel that much guilt.
She averted her gaze. “They’re secrets for a reason, Nathan.”
The tears began falling again, and she searched for the Kleenex I had given her earlier, but it had fallen onto the floor. We both reached for it at the same time, but I got it first. I began to wipe the tears from her cheek, but she grabbed my hand and stopped me.
“I need to go,” she said, quickly standing up. “Kat wanted me to wake her in half an hour, and it’s been longer than that. I need to know what you think, Nathan. Are you comfortable with me telling her or not?”
She walked toward the door but stopped short of it and turned to look at me.
“I want you to do whatever you feel is best,” I said.
“Thank you.” She smiled gently and turned to leave.
“But–” She stopped and looked back at me, concern etched onto her face as I continued. “Just some food for thought, Harper. We still have a couple weeks together, and if she takes the news badly, it could make the holidays incredibly uncomfortable. Not just for you two, but the rest of the family, as well. This is the first Christmas that we have been together as a family in years, and it means a lot to my mom. I simply ask, if you’re going to tell Kat about what happened, could you wait until after the holidays, so that we can at least have one normal Christmas after all the bullshit?”
Harper’s face fell as she mulled over my words. She seemed to think about it seriously before responding. “I think I can manage that.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“For your mom’s sake? Yes, I think so. I wouldn’t want to ruin her family Christmas, not after the last few years that she’s had.”
“Thank you.”
Harper was a good person; I had always known it. Even when she was a kid, she seemed to have a heart of gold. I don’t know why my brothers and I had to pick on her so much… probably because we were little assholes who wanted to impress our asshole father. But seeing her now, I had a hard time imagining her doing anything that would make it hard for her to look at herself in the mirror.
It made me want to get to know her better, to learn of those secrets, but also because she fascinated and excited me in ways no woman had done since Carly.
