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Speaking of which, he was the only one missing. Nate even came in and grabbed some cheese as he sat at the table across from Kat.
“Is Jackson still passed out?” I asked.
“Yep. I tried nudging him awake but he told me to go away,” Nate said with a shrug.
Rose’s smile wavered, and I knew it would mean a lot to her to have all her kids there. I excused myself and said, “I’ll give it a try. He needs to eat.”
As I entered the living room, Jackson was where I had left him in the middle of the floor, in front of the Christmas tree, his arms and legs spread out. He had unzipped his pajamas as if he’d gotten too warm, showing off that perfect chest of his.
I sat down on the floor next to him and stroked his arm. “Jackson, it’s almost time for dinner.”
“I’m not hungry,” he muttered.
“It would mean a lot to your mom,” I said softly. “And honestly, you need to get some food in your stomach.”
He opened his eyes but then scrunched them close, as if the room was too bright.
“Do you want me there, Harper?”
His words took me by surprise, but I answered honestly. “Of course.”
“Do you really? After all the horrible shit we’d done to you growing up?”
“Jackson, I forgive you. We were kids, and you’ve grown up a lot. You’re a much better person now.”
A smile pulled at his lips. “That means a lot, Harper,” he said, as he tried to push himself up from the floor. I placed a hand on his back to steady him, fearing he might be dizzy.
“You don’t even drink, and here you are taking care of my drunk ass,” he muttered.
I had lots of experience thanks to my parents, but I didn’t tell him that. He clearly didn’t need any more guilt.
I helped him to his feet, and once he was standing, I helped zip up his pajamas so he didn’t go into dinner with an exposed chest. Seeing the massive man who used to bully me relentlessly, wearing reindeer pajamas was all too cute, I had to admit.
“I look fucking silly,” he said, realizing that I was looking at his attire. He followed up the scowl with a half grin. “But it makes Mom happy. It’s just one day of looking ridiculous.”
“That’s the spirit, and I know it means a lot to her.”
Jackson’s eyes were glazed over; he was clearly wasted beyond belief still. I helped him into the dining room and to his seat, praying for the cheerful spirit from earlier.
The scent of baked ham filled the room and made me drool. I had told Aiden that I was hungry earlier, and it hadn’t been a total lie. Judging by the amazing smells, I knew it would likely be the best Christmas meal of my life.
As I glanced around the table, everyone was smiling and laughing. Even Jackson.
The room was filled with warmth and laughter and love, and I felt like I was one of them, that I was part of their family.
That I belonged.
I realized in that moment that I never wanted to go back to New York, but it wasn’t like I had much of a choice.
26
Jackson
Dinner was a blur. I tried to slow down with the alcohol but ended up having some wine with dinner and the rest of the night was just… gone.
When my alarm went off, I was surprised to wake up in my own bed. I put together the pieces, just images here and there, and had a feeling that Harper and Nate had a hand in getting me to my room. There was a trash can next to the bed, but it was clean. I didn’t get sick, so that was good. A goddamn miracle too.
But as I sat up, my head began spinning. I waited until the dizziness passed before stumbling into the shower. I let the hot water rush over my body, and I hoped it would help clear my mind.
