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I knew I would have to tell the guys. There was no way I would keep this from them, but what would it do to them to know that I was carrying one of their children?
I stopped briefly at my desk to pull myself together. I stared at my phone, and thought about calling Kat, but what could I expect her to say? I had promised not to cause her family any drama.
I opened up my voicemails, needing to hear the guys voices. I knew I couldn’t call them though. Not until I cleared my head and thought everything through.
I pulled up a voicemail from a few days ago from Aiden and heard, “I’m worried about Jackson…” Shit.
I had the urge to run to them, but what if I had been the problem all along?
After all, I was the one who leaked the pictures that sent Jackson on this path.
I was the one who ruined their family, and the baby in my belly could tear things apart for them all over again.
I had no idea what the right thing to do was.
37
Jackson
My doorbell buzzed.
“Can you get that, Barry?” I called out to my butler as I poured myself another drink. I half expected it to be one of my brothers coming over to talk to me about what happened or perhaps Mom. I didn’t really want to see anyone, so I called out, “And tell them I’m not here.”
Her voice took me by surprise. “What’s wrong, Jackson? Why are you hiding from everyone?”
I turned on my heels, afraid that maybe I was so drunk, I was hallucinating, except I had only just started for the day.
“Harper?” I put my drink down. “What are you… never mind, come here.”
She walked straight into my arms and I held her against me, my nose buried in her soft hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her. She was real. She was there.
She turned her head to look me in the eye, her face twisted into a look of concern. She frowned ever so slightly, her lips downturned and her forehead creased with worry. “Aiden called me, said that he was worried about you,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the message sooner. I was, well, I was dealing with a lot of things, but as soon as I heard something could be wrong, I rushed down here.”
“But what about the university?”
She shrugged. “I’ve asked for a leave of absence. I thought it might be good to take some time to find myself. I don’t know if I’m where I’m supposed to be. And—”
She cut herself off and looked away from me.
“What is it?” I stroked her cheek and nudged her to look up at me again.
“I have something to tell you, and everyone else as well, but I’d rather talk about it when we’re all together, if that’s okay.”
“Of course,” I said softly. My lips pulled back into the first smile in days. “I’m just so happy to see you.”
She smiled back at me. “I’m happy to see you too, but also worried. What’s going on with you?”
For the first time since France, I felt better. I felt safe. I felt like I could truly talk about everything I was dealing with. Harper was the one person I could be myself around.
I kissed her, holding her in my arms and cherishing the feeling of her lips on mine.
She pulled back and there was a serious look in her eyes.
“Talk to me, Jackson.”
“What do you already know?” I asked.
“Very little,” she answered. “Just that Aiden and Nate are worried about you, and I suspect it might have something to do with your drinking. I thought you were doing better when we parted ways in Paris.”
