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“There’s nothing to handle, Coop.” Matt touches my hand, kissing it. “It’ll be on a need-to-know basis. If I introduce you as my boyfriend and Thea as my girlfriend, you just don’t freak out. We’ll have to play it by ear, babe.”
“Kids?” I blurt out, taking part of this impromptu Q & A.
“She wants them, and I want them. How about you, Coop?”
“How are we handling the paternity of those children?” Tristan counters. “Or who is marrying her?”
He points at me. “Why her and not us? Either one of us can choose and marry the other, but not the three. Is that fair?”
“We don’t have to handle paternities. I want your kids to be mine and vice versa, Coop.” Matt takes a deep breath, tapping the right side of his chest. “We’ll figure that out as time goes.”
“Then let me continue figuring this out without the fucking pressure. I’m taking strides. you’re just not looking closely enough, Matthew.”
My biggest fear has always been to fall back into the past. Continue being the person who couldn’t control her life. Today that has shifted. My fear is that one day one of us will walk away, or the three of us will take separate roads and never look back.
“You two are the greatest thing that ever happened to my life,” I say, walking to Matt and holding his hand, then reaching for Tristan’s. “I love you both, and in my heart, I believe we belong together. If tomorrow comes and everything changes, always remember that no matter where I am or who you are, my heart will never stop being yours.”
“Where are you going, Butterfly?” Matt questions as I release their hands.
“To sleep. Tomorrow I have a plane to catch. Don’t forget this weekend we have to talk about me.” I kiss them both, then look at Matt. “He’s not his family, and I’m not my family either. Never forget that.”
ChapterThirty-Six
Tristan
It’s Tuesday,almost midnight, and I start getting my things ready to head home. There’s no point staying here when the bar is only half-full and my manager has everything under control. I’d rather head home and spend the night with my boyfriend, where we can videoconference with Thea, who is most likely working on her jewelry.
Some days I believe she likes to have nights to herself, just to stay awake late and work with her art. My eyes divert to the picture I have on my desk of her building a snowman. Last Christmas we spent time with the entire Colthurst family, and she played with the kids almost all week.
Kids.
The biggest uncertainty I have about our future. So many questions.
Would we confuse the hell out of them?
Would they get made fun of at school for having two dads? Matt gets angry when I doubt the relationship, but I swear he doesn’t think about the future like I do.
Our babies.
What kind of a life would a kid have?
One look at Thea’s loving smile, and I have just one answer: They’d have the best mother any man could give to his children. But is that enough?
I suppose they’re the same doubts and concerns most relationships face, but in our case, they hurt our relationship. Because they draw on my many insecurities. But I only want the best for her.
For us.
My phone rings as I turn off my computer. Mother. I let it go to voicemail. Her frantic voicemails since I told her that Matthew and I are dating drain me. She’s left me the numbers of several counselors who can help me with my “problem.”
Promises that if I marry Victoria, God will forgive me.
Father Andrew himself called urging me to straighten up my life, to obey my parents. Like I’ve done before, I let the calls go to voicemail. There’s nothing to say. Nothing in this world will take me away from Matt and Thea.
As I step out of my office and lock it, my phone buzzes. It’s Dylan, my brother.
Dylan:Call me, it’s an emergency.
“What’s going on?” I ask as he answers the phone.
