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She didn’t get it. She didn’t get it that in his head they would grow old together. When they’d both lost their beauty, their youth and their health, they would still have each other. And that would be enough. That would always be enough.
Only it wasn’t now. Not when he knew that the woman he loved with all his heart would never love him the same way. She couldn’t. Part of her heart was permanently locked away. Had been for the last twelve years and it looked like it would stay that way for ever.
He stood up and put some notes on the table to cover breakfast. Lucia’s whole face had changed. It was as if it had been replaced by a mask.
His stomach turned over. He could have played things so differently this morning. He could have ignored the past and just continued with the present, no matter how little of her he actually got.
But it would never have been enough. And even though his heart felt as though she’d ripped it in two, he knew this was right. For him at least.
He kept his voice as detached as he could. He would never make a scene. Never do anything to deliberately cause her embarrassment or upset.
‘Shall we make travel plans back to Tuscany?’
Her shoulders dropped a little as he spoke. Was that relief that he saw? Relief that he’d finally let things go?
Her words came out rapidly and her footsteps matched his on the cobbles next to the narrow canal. ‘I can arrange the return flights. We should be able to go back first thing tomorrow morning. The samples that I took earlier will be sent for automatic colour and pigment matching. I can only restore the fresco using products as close to the originals as possible. Thank goodness for modern technology.’ She gave a wave of her hand and kept chattering as they crossed the bridge.
Logan felt numb. This was it. This was it for him and her.
He’d have to spend the next few months in Tuscany, working next to Lucia but keeping her at arm’s length. Every glimpse whipped up a whole host of memories of the night before. He couldn’t possibly be in her company and not think about what the two of them had lost and never recovered from.
There couldn’t be a Logan and Lucia. Not if she still couldn’t mourn their daughter.
It would be best for them both.
CHAPTER NINE
SHE FELT NUMB. It was the only way she could survive.
Last night had been a blur. They’d got up this morning just as the sun had been rising and made their way in a water taxi to the airport. Logan had spoken barely a word to her.
And that was what hurt most.
He’d been polite, of course, courteous even. But it had all been strained. Any time she’d caught a glimpse of his once gleaming green eyes all she’d been able to see was the blankness that had been pulled over them.
They stood patiently in the queue, checking in and filing through to Departures. As soon as they made their way through she made a feeble excuse that she needed to pick up some things.
Logan gave a nod of his head and said he was going for coffee and would meet her at the departure gate. He seemed almost as relieved as she was to get some space.
Lucia ducked into the nearest shop. She didn’t even care which one it was—and started walking blankly through the aisles.
Lingerie. Just what she needed. She cringed as she passed a couple winking and nudging each other near the sexiest black and pink lingerie in the shop. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d spent money on matching lingerie. And she certainly wasn’t going to need some any time soon. Not at these prices anyway. Who actually spent this kind of money on underwear?
Something inside her sparked a wave of fury. Her steps became quicker, more determined. She marched along the aisles until she saw something that caught her eye, something she might actually wear.
It was a pale pink satin nightdress trimmed with exquisite lace. It was not as short as she might usually wear, reaching down to at least her knees. She reached out and touched it. The heavy satin was silky to touch, pure of quality and luxury. She picked out her size and walked to the cashier’s desk without a second thought.
The cashier folded and wrapped the nightdress in tissue paper and Lucia didn’t even blink when she handed over her credit card.
Why shouldn’t she buy herself something beautiful? As she pushed the package into her bag her mind flashed back to her bedroom and the beautiful red dress that Logan had bought her lying crumpled on the floor.
She hadn’t even picked it up. She didn’t need any reminder of the night they’d spent together. It was already ingrained in her brain.
