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“You want me too, Tristan.” It’s an accusation.
“Not the fucking point.” He lets out another long breath while opening the door of the penthouse. “I can’t.” He taps his temple with his index finger once. “I know it’s wrong, unnatural. Plus, I don’t want anyone to know I like to have sex with men. I can’t.”
Wrong? Unnatural? Different thoughts swarm inside my mind. Who the hell told him all that shit?
God, yes, I want to fuck him so bad. My balls ache when I see him. However, I’m not planning on having any physical relationship with a closeted man. Wait, a relationship… That’s a mouthful. I don’t have that ability, at least I don’t think I do.
“You’re hot, Matt. And yes, I want you to fuck me hard. But I don’t let anyone touch me that easily—especially guys. For you, though…” I arch an eyebrow, interested in what he’s telling me. He scratches the nape of his neck and scans the apartment. “How did you know? That… I like guys too?”
“It’s a gift.”
ChapterEleven
Tristan
My heart poundsand my legs are about to give up as panic runs through me.
What the fuck was I trying to accomplish by kissing Matthew Decker?
This weekend is the worst of my entire life. First, I’m so wasted I almost undress myself and beg him to fuck me. Next, I let him finger me while kissing me inside the elevator—sober. The pent-up energy I released during my workout is now back, wreaking havoc inside my body.
“What do you want, Tristan?” Matthew asks.
I lift my gaze to find a set of cobalt crystals staring my way. For some fucking reason, they remind me of the rock from the bartender, and the three words “you’re not alone.”
Maybe I’m not alone, and maybe he’s a good guy who will respect my limits.
“Ask yourself what you really need. I’m willing to give it to you, Tristan, but only if you’re sure.”
What I want and what I need are different from what Ishoulddo, and how Ishouldact. That’s a mouthful. I’m twisted into knots that I can’t untangle when Matthew is around. He doesn’t help me settle down. On the contrary, he makes me want to be myself, to allow men like him to love me.
“I won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Matthew takes a step closer to where I stand.
My heart rate accelerates. I don’t know how to react, what to tell him.
His shoulders relax and a grin appears before he speaks. “I can make you reach places that no man has ever taken you before.” He releases a full-blown laugh as if he’s spoken the best joke of his life. I miss the punchline, but the sound brings me some relief.
“Tell you what. Today, we’ll take it slow,” he says, as he takes my hand and pulls me toward the couch.“I’ll take care of that.” Matthew points to the tent I sport.
Our gazes lock, his heavy-lidded and lust-filled eyes only make me want him more. I want to say yes, but I fear that after I come back from the high, I’ll regret everything. I don’t want to lose Matthew’s friendship. In three days, I’ve come to like him, to enjoy his company and whatever crazy ideas he comes up with.
We stand face-to-face, only inches from each other. I don’t say a word, but I kiss him again. His tongue is in my mouth the moment I part my lips, and I let him fuck me with it while our lower bodies grind against each other. His hands push down my gym shorts and I let out a soft moan the moment he frees my cock.
Matthew withdraws his lips.
His eyes narrow and he asks, “Are we good?”
I nod slowly.
“You want me to stop?”
“I’ll punch you if you do,” I half-joke.
As soon as I say that, he pushes me onto the couch. His mouth goes back to the task of mauling mine. I groan and arch my body, searching for some friction, but I don’t find anything. My hand reaches my dick, and I stroke my shaft.
“No, I’m in charge of your pleasure today.” He removes my hand.
I interlace my fingers through his hair while he starts kissing me again, his body finally on top of mine. Our hips grinding against each other, his cock rubbing against mine. Fast. Rough. I welcome the friction, though, I’m about to explode.
