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“How about we play a game called: I’m your editor and we work on your manuscript?” I moderate my shaky voice.
I feel stupid, behaving like an insecure child. Maybe that’s another issue to work through with my shrink. Start living and stop second-guessing every action.
Wiggling in my seat, I steer the conversation to a safer subject. “Wyatt shouldn’t go to the Delta quadrant—it’s a bad idea.”
“It was just a question,” Matt reassures me, touching my hand. “Is the idea of a night out with me so terrible that you almost had a heart attack?”
I shake my head, and our gazes lock.
Not terrible. Dreamy—maybe in another life with a different Thea. I push my lips to opposite sides, but the smile never appears.
“It’s not that, it’s just—”God, Thea, you’re more articulate than this. What is it about him that twists your tongue?
“I get that you’re shy and all. How about we work on that first and then move to the next level? In the meantime, we can continue getting to know each other,” he says casually.
I nod and offer him a weak smile. “That sounds like a plan.”
My lungs sag with relief. Crisis averted. For today anyway.
ChapterThirty-Seven
Matthew
That wasthe opposite of casual and smooth. Thea is making me lose my touch. Yesterday, I serenaded her. Other than sayingI loved the song,she didn’t say one fucking word. Usually, women throw their underwear at me when I sing to them, and men beg for at least a touch.
Thea seems to want to jump out of her skin before she goes anywhere with me in any kind of romantic setting. Her overly nervous reaction when I asked her to go on a casual night out between friends speaks volumes.
“So, let’s hear it.” I play with her long hair. “You had a terrible first date, the last boyfriend was an ass, and you’ve sworn off men? Are you into chicks? Because if that’s so, you hide it pretty well.”
She chuckles. “Um, no, I’m not into chicks.”
Thea bites her lip, then lowers her eyes and lands them on her laptop, saving her work and shutting it off. Fixing her long skirt, she hides her colorful toes. She continues with synchronized movements until finally, her neck cranes just enough to return her attention toward me.
“My life is… complicated, Matt. There’s a part of me… of my past that—” she says. It’s as if she’s speaking to some stranger. “I just can’t go there, okay? How about we talk about the book. I have some comments about the first chapters I’d like to go over with you.”
“What? No.”
Thea jolts. “No?” She frowns.
“I’m Matt, your friend.” I push her stuff out of the way and take her hand with one of mine and lift her chin with the other. “Come on… I’ve made my way through your barriers, remember? It was fucking hard. I worked hard to demolish it and made it through. You don’t need to shut me down again.”
I drop her chin and kiss her hands. “Please?”
She laughs. “You’re sweet and silly. I’m not trying to shut you down, but there’re things about myself that I hate. Stuff I’d rather not tell anyone. Ever.”
“That’s honest.”
Sweet and sexy Thea flashes me a genuine grin and I’m a goner.
I doubt there’s anything that would make me think negatively of her. She’s smart, kind, vivacious, beautiful, and the best quality, funny. Whatever it is she’s hiding, it doesn’t matter.
“That’s as much as I can give you, Matt.”
“Promise me something.”
She raises her eyebrows at me in anticipation of my question. I release her hands to open the bag of Thai food and start setting the cartons on top of the blanket. “That you’ll let me earn your trust. Someday, you’ll tell me your uglies. And hopefully, by then, you’ll let me take them all away.”
Her answering grin gives me hope. “My uglies?”
