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Kristian didn’t stay away from cruelty or indifference.
He stayed away because he loves me.
Dad rubs his eyes miserably. “Kristian came to me and begged me to allow him to come home. He said he’d do anything, but it was Chessa’s funeral and I wasn’t thinking straight. The only thought in my head was to be as cruel to him as possible. The shock on his face…I’m ashamed of myself, Zenya. I used you to punish him.”
Chessa’s funeral was just a few days after Kristian was banished. I doubt he even left the city before returning to Dad, hoping he’d cooled off enough to rethink his threats.
Only for Dad to threaten him with destroying what little happiness I had.
“I love him, Dad,” I whisper, getting up and sinking down onto the sofa next to him. “I was shocked when he told me about his feelings for me, but in these past few months, I’ve realized that I feel the same way. He’s my other half. He always will be.”
Kristian is dangerous, chaotic, and brutal, but in the life I’ve chosen for myself and the children I’ll bear, I need that in a man.
Dad winces, but I can’t bury my feelings any longer to please him.
“I love Kristian and…and I justwanthim. What there is between us, I’ve never felt anything like it, and I know I never will again.”
Dad covers his eyes and sighs deeply. He’s silent for a long time before he mutters, “It’s the same for Kristian. I’ve never seen him look at a woman the way he looks at you.”
As much as my heart soars to hear those words, it aches too. “You hate this, don’t you?”
Dad gazes at me with a hopeless expression. “Do you truly love him? Did you choose him of your own free will? All that man is. All that he has done.”
I give him a pitying smile. “Do I really need to answer that question? Have you ever seen me make a reckless decision that I didn’t struggle with for months and months?”
I pass my hand over my belly, rubbing it gently. Even this wasn’t reckless. I wanted his baby with all my heart, I just couldn’t admit it to myself.
“Kristian has only ever loved me. He’s only ever seen me for who I truly am. He’s far from perfect, but he’s perfect for me.”
Dad presses his lips together in a white, rueful line. “Then I suppose it’s time I got out of your way. I’ve stood in it long enough.”
He stares into his lap for a long time, processing what I’ve just told him. I wait, holding my breath, waiting to hear whether he’ll accept us or banish me along with my uncle.
“Kristian would never do anything to hurt you,” Dad says finally. “He’d sooner drive a dagger through his heart than break yours. I’ve wronged you both so much these past few years, and I know you must be angry with me, but please give me the chance to make things right.”
Hope flares in my chest. “How?”
“By giving you my blessing—if that has any worth to you. If it’s Kristian you love, then I’ll accept it. I won’t interfere if he asks you to marry him.”
I shoot to my feet, my heart lodged in my throat. Can it really be this easy? Am I in touching distance of everything I want?
“You mean that?”
Dad nods. “It feels strange to say it, but if he truly does love you and you love him, then you should be with him. As hard as it is to trust Kristian, I trust that he loves you.”
I drop to my knees before Dad and wrap my arms around his shoulders. Him understanding why we’re together even if it doesn’t make him happy is more than I was hoping for.
Perhaps Dad will learn to be happy for us in time once he sees us openly in love, if Dad has enough time left.
Only, where is Kristian?
I fumble for my phone and call him again, but again it rings out.
“Try Mikhail,” Dad suggests.
“That’s a good idea,” I reply, dialing Mikhail’s number. He picks up right away. “Mikhail, have you seen Kristian? He’s not answering his phone.”
“Yeah, I ran into him at the Silo about thirty minutes ago. He said he was heading over to Harcross. Is everything all right? He seemed angry.”
