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It’s not a real Russian word, but I know instantly what it means.Pakhanis what everyone calls my father. It’s a term of respect that means boss. In Russia, a woman takes a feminine form of her father’s name as her middle name. If we’d followed that tradition here, my middle name would be Troianovna.
I trace the etching with my fingers. Kristian is saying I am my father’s daughter. Troian’s true heir, and the futurePakhan.
Kristian’s future boss.
He takes the box from me and lays it on the car seat. The diamond ring is sparkling on the tip of his forefinger as he takes my face in his hands. “What do you want first, princess? For me to pledge myself to you as my future boss, or for me to get down on one knee and ask if you’ll take me as your husband?Pakhanovna’schoice.”
“Not for me to be your wife?”
He shakes his head with a smile. “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. If I ever forget who’s leading this family, I want you to take that gun and shoot it right into my heart.”
Thunder rumbles overhead. The clouds are moving so fast they seem to be boiling in the sky. A fat raindrop falls on my cheek. The heavens seem to be aching for us to fall into each other’s arms for a kiss, but there are a few things we need to straighten out first.
“You lied to me,” I say, another raindrop sliding down my face.
He nods, his eyes filled with regret. “I did. I have been. I’m sorry. I didn’t come back here to support you as you stepped into your father’s shoes. I wanted you, the city, the money, everything. And I wanted revenge.”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, you idiot. What happened to not confessing anything until you know what you’re being accused of?” He taught me that strategy a long time ago in case I was ever kidnapped or questioned too closely by an associate. Don’t let your own mouth talk you into trouble.
His brows draw together. “What?”
“I’m not talking about why you returned or for what purpose. As I was saying, you lied to me.”
He rubs his forehead. “All right, all right. I shouldn’t have threatened Doctor Nadar into giving you a fertility shot and pretended that I didn’t know that morning-after pill was a fake, but—”
I laugh and hold my finger to his lips. “Are you crazy? Are you just going to keep on confessing to all your crimes when you don’t even know what I’m accusing you of? Pull yourself together! You’re Kristian goddamn Belyaev.”
He grips my upper arms. “Let me get it all off my chest, princess. I’m trying to be a better man for you.”
“Screw being a better man. You can do that on your own time because I’m the one asking the questions right now, and I want to know why you lied about the swimming pool. Let’s talk aboutthat.”
He stares at me like he doesn’t understand what I’m talking about. “The pool? We haven’t been in the pool for years.”
“Exactly. That’s what I’m talking about—what happened in the pool three years ago. You said that day in the pool changed everything for you, but I don’t believe you. That wasn’t a special day. That was a nothing day. So when was it really?”
Maybe I looked a little more grown up that day and we were touching each other a crazy amount. But laughter and skin and sunshine aren’t enough to make Uncle Kristian fall in love with anyone. He would have fallen in love a hundred times with a hundred women by now if that was all it took. His heart is full of darkness and danger. It must have been something dark and dangerous that made him fall for me.
He licks a raindrop from his lips, and suddenly I want to use our mouths for anything but talking, yet I wait because I want to hear him say it.
“You know what day it was, princess. Or rather, the night.”
“The home invasion,” I reply.
He nods. “When I busted through that window and saw all the blood and devastation in that room, I was never so afraid in my life. I thought I was going to find my girl broken and bleeding, but instead, there you were with my knife in your hand, and the monster who tried to break you was bleeding out.” The corner of his mouth turns up in a smile. “My princess doesn’t need rescuing. She’s a fucking queen.”
Kristian draws closer to me and takes my face in his hands.
“She always has been.”
I want to melt into him, give him my lips and my whole heart right this second, but there’s more I want to say.
“Dad knew how you felt about me,” I whisper. “Chessa told him. That’s one of the reasons he sent you away.”
Kristian groans and pushes his hands through his rapidly wetting hair. “I knew she knew. I was so fucking angry with her for getting in my way, which is why I celebrated when she died. I wondered if she blabbed to Troian, but I never thought Troian would have believed her.”
“Dad didn’t want to, but he knew the truth in his heart.”
“Don’t be angry with him, princess. You were sixteen. In his place, I would have banished me as well.”
