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The pressure feelsdangerous.
My orgasm overwhelms me and I soar through it, only to find it’s still building toward an alarming conclusion. Oh, Jesus. Oh,no. I feel like I’m going to—
Suddenly, I gush over his fingers.
“No. Don’t—” I sit up and grab his wrist, but it’s too late. Together we stare at his wet hand and the sprayed sheets in shock.
Uncle Kristian groans in pleasure. All the anger is gone from his face and he looks entranced. “Fuck, your pussy is magnificent. Has that ever happened before?”
I shake my head, staring down in horror at the dark patch on the bed. “What the hell was that?”
“You squirted, princess. I found the good spot.” He slides his hand around the nape of my neck and kisses me deeply. I’m still so confused, but whatever happened, he seemed to like it.
“But what is— I’ve never heard of— It looks like—” I feel choked up and I can’t get the words out. My face erupts with heat. Oh, God, there are even splashes on his jeans. I want to die.
He kisses me again, smiling reassuringly and stroking my hair back. “It’s a good thing. A fucking beautiful thing.”
I stare at him in confusion. How can he say that when I just lost control of myself?
“If it makes you feel good and isn’t hurting anyone else, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he murmurs.
It did feel good, but… Tell that to the sick feeling in my belly.
He gathers me close and kisses the top of my head. “You’ve got to stop worrying so much about what everyone thinks of you. Where’s the fearless girl I’ve always known and loved?”
I don’t think he’s talking about whatever I just did all over his hand anymore.
“But what if I disappoint people?” I whisper. “What if it turns out I’m not the person they need me to be, and they don’t feel like they can rely on me anymore?”
What if they abandon me and I fall into that black hole that terrified me after Mom died?
It’s not a real place. Maybe it’s not a rational fear, but it feels real to me. That black hole could appear anywhere, like in the eyes of the people I love, and it might be the last thing I see before they turn away from me forever.
“Then they’ll have to deal with it because their disappointment is not your problem if you’re only trying to live your life in a way that makes you happy and fulfilled.” Uncle Kristian pulls me up onto his thighs with my knees hugging his hips, cradling my naked body against his.
“Look at us,” he whispers.
I turn my head and rest my cheek on his shoulder, gazing at our reflections in the vanity mirror. His strong arms are around me and my hair is cascading down my back. The expression in his eyes is dark and possessive.
“I never thought I’d get to hold you like this, princess. I can’t let go of you because it will kill me.”
I sink my teeth into my lower lip, desperately wishing it didn’t look so alluring to be held close in my uncle’s arms in the middle of the night.
But we do look wonderful together. Perfect, actually. How can something so perfect be wrong?
Uncle Kristian finds my ear with his lips and murmurs lovingly like he’s reciting a sonnet, “I’m this close to eviscerating the next man who looks at you. If you liked whoever got to you before I did, I’m sorry, but he’s a dead man. I don’t need you to tell me who he is. I’ll find out for myself.”
My nails dig into his shoulders and I breathe in sharply. “Uncle Kristian…”
Just then, a scream pierces the night.
I lift my head with a gasp. That sounded like Nadia. Memories of that terrible night when our home was invaded by unknown men and my siblings were screaming tumble through me.
Uncle Kristian’s up and off the bed before Nadia screams again. I hear him charge down the hall and rip Nadia’s bedroom door open. “Nadia!”
I’m tying a dressing gown around my naked body and hurrying after him when he comes into the hall with my little sister in his arms. Chessa and Dad’s second youngest, a little girl of just four with golden curls.
“It’s all right. She just had a bad dream,” he murmurs, sympathy and relief etched on his features. The crying child reaches for me with both arms and he passes her over.
