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I slowly draw my hands away from my face to find him smiling at me. Carefully, he pushes the applicator into me, depresses the plunger, and carefully draws it out.
“Good girl,” he murmurs with a wicked smile and throws the applicator into the trash. “Later, I’m going to take that out and fuck you.”
My insides turn molten and my cheeks heat as he disappears into my bedroom and comes back with a clean pair of underwear for me.
When we go downstairs, I’m convinced that everyone in the family is going to see my sheepish, flushed expression and know that I’ve been doing crazy things with my uncle in an upstairs bathroom. Everyone’s having too much fun to notice how close we’re standing or how he’s always touching me, or that I cling to his pinkie and ring fingers because I’m too shy to hold his hand, but I want to hold on to him just the same.
Eventually, the caterers pack up their trays and clean the kitchen. The guests start to go home, and I help Dad upstairs to bed.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” I ask him as I tuck the blankets around him.
Dad gives me a tired but happy smile. “Of course. Lana had a wonderful time. I’m so happy I got to see that.” He reaches up and touches my cheek. “You’re just like your mother, sweetheart. She’d be so proud of you.”
I wonder what Mom would think of everything I’ve been up to lately. I hope she’d be proud of everything I’m learning about how to be a Belyaev, even if she might not approve of some of my recent decisions.
But I do remember something. She always liked Uncle Kristian. He made her laugh so hard and she only scolded him a little when he did crazy things like taking me to a shooting range at six years old. Perhaps she wouldn’t be surprised to know how much I’ve come to rely on him lately. How my feelings for him have changed from loving him as an uncle to something more.
I’m facing the very black hole that I’ve always been afraid of, but it’s a little less terrifying with him at my side.
“We have to tell everyone soon,” I whisper to Dad. That he’s dying. That there’s nothing else anyone can do.
He nods and closes his eyes. “We will. Just give me a little longer with them while they’re all smiling. That’s all I ask.”
I blink away tears and nod. I can understand that. Tonight, I want to live in my secret and postpone tomorrow as well.
In my bedroom, I quickly put a toothbrush, some tampons, and a change of clothes into my largest handbag. Downstairs, Uncle Kristian is waiting for me in the silent hallway, and he takes my hand and leads me out to his car.
I take deep breaths of night air as we drive. I love my home, but tonight I’m blissfully happy to be free.
When we’re inside his house, Uncle Kristian turns to me with an expression of concern. “How are your cramps? Do you need some painkillers?”
“I just need…” I trail off and go up on my toes to kiss him.
Him.
Just him.
We shower together and I wash my makeup off. Uncle Kristian makes good on his promise and takes my tampon out, which makes me flame with embarrassment all over again, but I’m laughing this time. My laughter turns to a moan as he thrusts two fingers into me.
In bed, or wherever it is that we fuck, he’s normally ferocious, but tonight he’s slow and careful as he eases his thick length into me. Every sense is heightened as he thrusts deeper and deeper, praising me between kisses and telling me how beautiful I am, how sexy, how he can’t help but think about us like this whenever we’re together. My blood is all over his cock. All over his fingers as he drags them through my inner lips and around my clit, and he leaves bloody fingermarks on my breasts and the sheet by my head.
It feels…freeing. Everything he’s ever done for me makes me feel free, and I don’t ever want him to stop.
After he makes me come four times and I’m a panting mess, he climaxes hard inside me, his teeth in my shoulder and one hand gripping the nape of my neck.
With his strong arms around me, his cock still buried deep inside me, he whispers for me to go to sleep and that he’s going to stay right here. “I want to stay inside you as long as I can.”
I close my eyes and melt into his arms, my body heavy and my mind exhausted. I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep with him still inside me and filled with blood and cum, but only a few minutes pass while I listen to his breathing before I drift off to sleep.
* * *
In the morningI wake alone in his bed and find that I’m wearing fresh underwear. My thighs are clean and I have a tampon in again. I smile as I vaguely remember careful strokes of a warm washcloth in the darkness and the rustle of a wrapper, and his murmurs for me to go back to sleep.
I pull on his black shirt from the night before and go downstairs.
Uncle Kristian is wearing gray sweats and nothing else as he stands at the coffee machine. His pale blond hair is falling into his eyes and there’s a line of concentration between his brows as he tamps the grinds into the silver holder. Kristian owns an espresso maker that’s like one you might see in a coffee shop, only a little smaller.
I remember standing right here just a few years ago and watching him make coffee, dressed in a black shirt with the sleeves rolled back past his elbows. I was fascinated by the sight of the muscles of his forearms bunching and flexing and the sunlight catching the hairs on his arms before I understood what that fascination truly meant. Admiring someone down to every tiny detail speaks of a love that’s far more devoted than uncle and niece.
