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“Your life. Zora gave it to me. It holds all your memories, and I was able to see them all.”
I expect her to be mad that I’d pry, but instead, she gives me a sad smile. “So you know all those things are true, then.”
“Foolish human,” I say gruffly and push the crystal into her hand. I wrap my own around hers, pressing tight, and I call forth a series of specific memories. The crystal glows, and Nyssa gasps as she’s assaulted by the recollections I force her to watch.
Choosing to stay at a homeless shelter.
Accepting help.
Detoxing and joining NA.
Respecting her body.
Applying for jobs and despite rejections, applying for more.
Bartending and finding value in hard work.
Pride in making money and being able to afford to rent a place.
I pull the crystal away, and it darkens again. Nyssa’s eyes fly open and meet mine. “That was the last year of your life. You were changing the narrative, Nyssa. My words to describe you would be strong, determined, and resilient. There’s no doubt in my mind, had Vince not walked into that bar, your trajectory would have continued upward. Unfortunately, he snapped that very fragile ego you were trying to build, and you had a moment where you lost control.”
“And ended up in Hell,” she murmurs. “Where I belong.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But I’ll tell you this… Vince deserved what he got, and his soul went straight into the Crimson River. He never even made it to me for judgment, so you can rest easy at least knowing he’s being eternally tormented. I’d also go back to the First Dimension and hunt down every human who ever hurt you and tear their hearts out if I was allowed to leave, then I’d ask Zora to send me their souls so I could be the one to throw them in the river.”
And that right there earns me a small smile. That’s what I was aiming for.
“The mortal life you had—it was horrible. But it’s gone. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, and there’s nothing to apologize for. It’s over, and now you’re here where you can have a good life. You will always be safe with me. I promise you that.”
Nyssa sniffs but there are no tears, even though her voice is a little watery. “How come I had to come to Hell to actually find someone who cares?”
“How come I’ve lived millennia and you’re the only being who has the power to bring me to my knees?”
“Fate?” she asks with a tiny laugh.
Thinking of Circe, the god of Fate, I can’t discount that at all. But who knows.
All that matters is the here and now, and I’m going to take Thalia’s advice and keep Nyssa forever.
CHAPTER 20
Nyssa
Amell was deadserious that I’m not allowed to go anywhere in the castle without him. That means he has someone else deliver our meals, and I’m no longer allowed to fetch them.
I expressed my discontent about not being allowed to work in the kitchens, mainly because I need to feel useful. The biggest thing that helped with my addiction recovery was having a purpose. I explained how much that job at Crazy8’s meant to me, how Sam had been willing to take a chance on someone who’d been pretty unstable most of her life.
I told Amell a lot of things. Once I knew he’d already seen every bit of my horrid life in that crystal, I had no reason to keep my secrets from him. Of course, he pushed and prodded and asked all kinds of intrusive questions. I think he’s a bit fascinated by humans, as I don’t think he has a lot of experience with us.
He knew Zora, of course, for twenty-eight years, but it was such an odd relationship. He was her jailer and lover, but more than that, she wasn’t an ordinary human. She had no real human experiences, having lived her entire life in the Underworld until her sister rescued her.
There’s Thalia, of course, but he only had a few weeks with her and in a limited capacity. I think it’s incredible how deeply Amell feels for her, even though they don’t know each other all that well.
Regardless, I informed Amell this morning that if he doesn’t find something useful for me to do, I’ll go crazy, and he won’t like me much that way.
He cocked an eyebrow, staring in that imperious way he often does, and God help me, I like it when he does that.
Today I am by his side as he said I would be. He met with nobles in his council room to discuss First Dimension imports. This is an actual “thing” in which he has fae make routine visits into that dimension to bring back all sorts of items, though mostly food. I learned that the types of crops and animals here in the Underworld are edible, but nothing near as good as we have above.
