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“Stop!” He braced an elbow against the counter and held them both upright.
Elisa could feel Josh’s body shake behind her. His gasping rattled in her ears. Her whole body seemed to melt.
His voice rang out loud and clear. “I killed Lauren.”
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Elisa couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Josh’s words didn’t offer apology and didn’t deliver relief. She still stood there, half off her feet and slipping into unconsciousness, bleeding out in the middle of her kitchen.
“Say all of it.” Elisa wanted this over.
“It really was an accident,” Josh said in a voice that had lost all emotion.
Rachel’s jaw clenched. “Stop using that word.”
“We were camping and we’d been... we were... fighting.” Josh stumbled through his words, racing through some and hesitating on others. “We wanted different things. We’d gotten married so young.”
“Keep going.” Rachel grabbed a clean towel and held it out to Josh.
He wrapped this towel around the blood-soaked one on Elisa’s arm as he spoke. “It was late and we fought. She stormed out of the tent and I followed her.”
He kept drawing this out. Elisa didn’t have much strength left. She needed for him to make his admission, then they’ddeal with whatever price Rachel thought he should pay. “Tell her. She deserves to know.”
“We were yelling... because... well, that’s how we were. Passionate.”
Rachel made a furious groaning sound. “Spare me.”
“She tripped and—”
“No, don’t.” Elisa knew that was wrong. Knew with every damaged and depleted part of her. “Josh, do not try to make this better. The truth.”
“I thought... I didn’t...” He nodded as he tightened his hold on her wound. “I pushed her and she fell back. Her head slammed into a tree.” A new surge of red seeped through his fingers and he seemed lost as he looked at it. “There was blood everywhere. I panicked.”
“Because you’re weak.” Rachel almost spit the words at him.
“I loved her.”
Rachel held the point of the knife in front of his face. “Do not ever say that again.”
His fingers dug into Elisa’s arm, likely trying to stem the bleeding. Her whole body ached. Every time she moved her head a new shot of pain seared through her. Her mind got more muddled the longer Josh held her there.
“How did Lauren end up in the water?” Elisa asked when she could no longer support her own weight and his hold eased. She was sure she’d fall on the floor soon. “Josh?”
“I... I... just... put her in the water.”
“Josh. Oh my God.” Elisa didn’t know she’d said the words out loud until she felt Josh brace behind her.
“She was dead.” Josh looked at Elisa then at Rachel, as if willing them to believe him.
“She wasn’t.” Through all the pain and fear Elisa knew that statement was a lie. She didn’t need a confession because she couldfeelit. “The proof is in the report. There was water in her lungs. She was alive when she went into the water.”
“No... that can’t... I didn’t feel a pulse.”
Elisa could almost see the events as they happened. “You held her under. You hit her and wanted to make sure she was dead... you hid the evidence in the water.”
“I . . . I didn’t expect . . .” He was swallowing and fidgety, his whole body one nervous ball of unspent energy. “I wanted to make it look like she fell in but then she opened her eyes and started kicking.”
Elisa felt a rush of heat through her body. She fought not to throw up. “You drowned her because you didn’t want her to wake up and accuse you.”
