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Glancing in the rearview mirror and thinking about that poor woman’s life made Elisa feel guilty about how miserable she’d been. She never felt like she had the right to be sad or anxious. She should just stop it. She’d mentioned that more than once in therapy and her now former therapist explained that wasn’t how mental health worked. Every snide or unthinking comment Josh made could get her wound up and feeling shitty all over again.
She pulled up to the teacher and assistant running today’s pickup and rolled down the passenger side window. Right as she did, she realized she didn’t see Nathan. “Is he still inside?”
The teacher and assistant looked at each other with confused expressions. “He left with his uncle right as school ended.”
No, no, no. “What?”
“Josh Wright. He’s on the approved list.” The teacher said each word nice and slow, as if she needed to be clear for Elisa to understand.
Josh. A mix of anger and panic tumbled through Elisa. She swallowed a scream and fought not to break into desperate, wailing tears.
“He also had your text,” the assistant said in a rushed sentence.
Okay, wait. Elisa inhaled a few times. “A text?”
The assistant nodded. “The one you sent to him, saying you’d be late and asking him to step in for you.”
Never happened.
The assistant glanced at the car behind Elisa. “I saw it and checked your approval list, so everything should be fine.”
It absolutely wasn’t.
“He’s definitely on the list,” the teacher added. “He’s picked up Nathan before without incident.”
Elisa wanted them not to stop talking for a second so she could think. So that she could figure out how to stop her hands, and whole body, from shaking. “Yes, but—”
“The list. Yes.” The assistant kept doing that annoying nodding thing. “He’s on it. We double-checked.”
“I know about the damn list. Okay?” Elisa shouted to get them to shut up but got an entirely different reaction.
The assistant’s face fell.
The teacher wore thatdispleased teacherlook that every student everywhere dreaded. “Ms. Wright—”
“I know.” Elisa tried to rein her emotions back in and find enough control to get through this conversation. “Forget it. Sorry.”
The assistant shot Elisa an unconvincing smile. “Nathan seemed very excited to see his uncle.”
“Of course he did.” With only a quick look in her side mirror, Elisa pulled away from the curb. Tires squealed and the few people waiting around and talking at cars stared at her. Again.
She wanted to slam on the gas and race home. Yell and swear and brutally chastise herself for not editing that stupid list. But she held it together. She needed to hold it together.
A reasonable explanation. That’s what she needed. Her first call to Josh went to voicemail. Then the second. When hisrecorded voice came on the line a third time, she knocked her cell off the stand, sending it flying to the passenger’s side of the front seat.
An anguished mix of pain and terror gripped her. “Please don’t hurt my baby.”
She made the usual fifteen-minute drive home in about five. Treated every stop sign as optional. By the time she finally pulled into the driveway and slammed on the brakes, her mind was wild with horrible possibilities. The sure way to hurt her—to make her stop searching and be quiet—was to threaten Nathan.
Without bothering to shut the car door or grab her bag, she ran into the house. Her heart slammed against her chest and her breath rushed out of her.
She threw open the door, letting it bounce open as she started yelling. “Nathan!”
No response.
She heard voices, possibly a television. She could see something dark and crumpled sitting in the distance on the kitchen counter. None of it really registered, and none of it mattered until she saw Nathan.
“Nathan? Where are you?” She hesitated at the bottom of the stairs and headed for the kitchen instead.
