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The tightness in the back of my throat intensified. My words—excuses, really—had dried up. My inner she-devil shot me a glare in disappointment.
32
KATYA
I had messed up. In my need for independence and desire to get away from Kristoff’s pull, I hadn’t considered Lily’s feelings at all.
I paced the room, feeling like crap. Maybe I had more Bratva in me than I’d like to admit. I’d been living under Kristoff’s wings for nearly four years now. Perhaps it was only natural that some of his ways had rubbed off on me. Except that was no excuse, of course. I imagined my mother’s reaction if I told her about what had happened. All I could see was disappointment in her eyes. That wouldn’t last long, though. Next, she would kick my butt and spur me on to right my wrong.
I called Kristoff, as if a part of me needed confirmation to hear that what I’d done was wrong. But more than that I simply wanted to speak to him.
“Ekaterina.”
My heart skipped a beat. I loved the tenor of his voice, masculine and deep, just as the man himself.
“I kind of did a thing. Did you ever hurt someone without meaning to?”
“Katya…”
“I mean a friend,” I hastily added, not wanting him to think this was about us. He’d made it very clear that there was no us.
I sat on the edge of my bed. Living here wasn’t so much a cry for independence as it was running from imminent heartbreak. It didn’t solve my issue, but it helped put things into perspective.
“I’ve hurt many people,” he said. “But I don’t think that’s the kind of pain you’re referring to. How can I help you?”
“I made a mistake by keeping something from a friend and now I’ve lost her trust.”
He was silent for a beat. “Someone once told me that life is a set of scales. Every action has a reaction and can tip the scale to one side or the other. If you lost someone’s trust, it means you took that trust from that person. If you want to balance the scale, to right your wrong, thengivethem something this time. In my world, actions speak louder than words.”
Of course. I launched myself off the bed in a eureka moment. There was one thing I could give Lily that she wanted the most. A thing that could tip the scales back into balance, so to speak.
“Thank you. I could kiss you right now!”
“I wish you could.”
My heart almost expanded out of my chest. Even over the phone, the synergy which tethered us to each other was palpable. I clutched the phone harder, as if gripping it tightly meant holding onto him.
“Bye, Kristoff.”
“Do svidaniya.”
I disconnected the call, my mind going a million miles an hour. I knew exactly who to call next. Damon was the first person who came to mind—I could use his hacking skills—but he would go in with guns blazing. Or worse, sneak into Charles’ bedroom and slit his throat. He was covert and bloodthirsty like that. No, what I needed was a certain IT geek with a big heart who was the opposite of Damon. And with her penchant for passing out at the sight of blood, my pacifist hacktivist friend Tess qualified perfectly. She could practically rule the world from her keyboard, as long as she had an internet connection. I didn’t need her to rule the world, just Charles’ for the next few hours.
I was looking up Tess’ number when a knock sounded on my dorm room door. Hoping it was Lily, I raced to open it.
“Oh.” It was a girl with lush lips and wavy hair that was so long it touched the top of her butt. She resembled an Indian actress, whose name eluded me.
She dangled a bag in her hand. “That’s no way to greet someone who brought you donuts.”
The scent of delicious breakfast food hit my nose. That’s when I remembered—I’d seen her in a picture on Lily’s desk.
“You’re Mia, Lily’s bestie.”
“The one and only.” She took out a chocolate donut and gave it to me. We both grinned.
“Chocolate makes everything better.” I almost inhaled the pastry, craving the sugary deliciousness.
“I came to check out my competition,” Mia said, eying me.
