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“Of course you do. Name it.” He held up a finger. “Anything but rejoining the party.”
Wild horses couldn’t drag me back there.
Boris had given me a nasty reminder of what my life had been like; filled with fear and pain. I needed to shed those memories that clung to me like acid rain. I needed to replace them with something beautiful.
“I want a kiss.”
His brows almost reached his forehead. “A kiss?”
“I can’t…” My voice almost broke, but I pulled myself together. “I can’t end this night feeling like this.”
“Like what?”
I wiped away a set of treacherous tears. “Like a coward, simpering away in a room, crying into my pillow. I want to feel…normal. Alive. Like any other person on her birthday. Even if it’s just for a few minutes.”
Understanding, and something else, a hint of darkness maybe, crept into his gaze.
His hand went to my cheek. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and goosebumps prickled my skin. He leaned over and his hot breath fanned over me, warming me from the inside. Then his lips touched mine, slowly, tentatively at first. An electrical charge seemed to pass between us. Heat spread through me like little flames all over my skin. I felt flushed, feverish, and oh so wanted.
It was everything I’d dreamed about my first kiss. Everything and then some.
I pressed my hips closer to him, inching toward his muscled body, when he pulled back.
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ears. There was something disturbing in his eyes. A scary combination of rage and unbridled passion. The room seemed to close in on me.
Then it all disappeared. Every speck of emotion on his face, the need I had felt in him, was gone. He’d retreated behind an invisible wall and I could not follow him.
Kristoff Romanov had demons inside that he rarely showed to the world. I’d known it the second I’d set my eyes on him. I knew it back in the garden when he was burying his dog, and I’d witnessed it when he cut off a man’s ear. Boris had had it coming, but still.
Why was he looking at me like that?
He cleared his throat. “I…we will talk tomorrow.”
I didn’t want him to leave. “I can’t reach my mom,” I started. “I was wondering if you’ve heard from her?”
His shoulders tensed. He took a step back, putting space between us.
A hint of regret crept in his gaze. “I wish the timing was different, but for some things, there’s never a good time. We need to talk.”
That sounded ominous. My eyes automatically searched for my mom. Just as I’d done all those years when she had sat beside my bed in the hospital. But now she wasn’t there.
“About?” I croaked.
“Your mom.”
A cold seeped into my bones, chilling my blood. As Kristoff started to speak, my mind couldn’t handle what he was telling me. I swayed on my feet, and the next moment I was in his arms.
He scooped me up and lay me on the bed. I curled up into a ball and stared over his shoulder at the wall. My nose burned and I drew a deep breath to hide the tears that were threatening to rush down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe that just a minute ago I’d felt hot and dreamy because of my first kiss. All I felt now was cold and sick to the core.
“She can’t be dead. I don’t believe you.”
After all we’d gone through, all those years she put herself second to my illness, this was supposed to be our time. We were going to have a normal life again. She wasn’t supposed to die in some car accident. Hot waves of rage crashed through me.
“It’s all because of him! Ted. If he hadn’t been stalking my mom, she wouldn’t have been on her way to get help.” My throat closed up and I balled my hands into fists. “If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be with her.” I swiped away my tears, no longer caring whether they made me look weak.
After a moment of silence, Kristoff said, “If you would have been with her, you’d be dead as well.”
“So?”
