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She swallowed. “Then why do I feel like such a failure?”
“You are a lot of things, but a failure isn’t one of them.”
She sagged against me. “My whole Russian expedition was an epic fail. I lost our baby. We hadn’t really talked about it, and God knows I wasn’t ready to become a mom, but if I hadn’t—”
“Don’t pain yourself with what-ifs.Youdidn’t lose anything,” I growled. “It was taken from you. You are not responsible for what happened.”
“But if I hadn’t left you—”
“No what-ifs,” I reminded her. “Snakes have a way of spreading their venom, no matter where you are.”
Neither of us had mentioned Svetlana’s name again. Katya knew that I knew what order she had given Ilya. Somehow she also knew I hadn’t murdered her. It was the same with the divorce lawyer she had hired in the spur of a moment. I never mentioned him, and neither did she. Some parts of our relationship stayed blissfully dysfunctional. We were perfectly imperfect like that.
I grabbed a pair of boxing gloves and handed them to her. “Put these on.”
She pursed her lips. “That wasn’t really what I came here for.”
No, she wanted mind-numbing sex. And she would get that later tonight when I fucked her hard up against the bedroom wall.
I helped her put on her gear, then stood behind the punching bag, holding it for her.
With a sigh, she got up and swung at the bag. It barely moved.
“Harder,” I spurred her on. “A kitten could hit that bag harder than you.”
She glared and cursed, but she didn’t give up. For the next fifty minutes or so, I egged her on. Her punches became harder, more controlled, as did her concentration. Sweat dripped off her face when I wouldn’t let her quit.
“Why is this so important to you?” she complained.
Because I needed her to rid herself of her pain. Because when we renewed our vows, I had to be sure that this time, she would say them willingly. I also needed her busy for at least an hour, so preparations could be made in the garden. But most of all because I loved her, and my empire needed a queen of hearts.
Just as she was about to hit the bag again, I pulled it backward, then threw it at her.
She jumped out of its way just in time. Her eyes promised me pain and retribution. Good. She was finally getting there.
“What do you do when someone tries to knock you down, Ekaterina?”
She scowled. “I’m guessing the correct answer is to scream and shout and let it all out?”
When I pushed the bag at her again, that was exactly what she did. Katya had a set of lungs on her like I’d never heard before. She screamed and screamed until she looked broken, and her voice turned hoarse. When she dropped onto the floor, I picked her up and placed a kiss onto her head. It was time for the healing to begin.
***
KATYA
I thought Kristoff’s little ‘control your anger by getting even angrier’ self-help lesson would be the highlight of my day, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When I stepped out of the shower, Kristoff awaited me, wearing a tux. My mouth dropped open.
“Do we have a gala or something that I forgot about?”
Then my gaze fell to the white dress on the bed.
“Mia helped pick it out,” he said, as he walked up to me. “The first time we got married, I didn’t give you much of a choice. This time there are no more lies or hidden truths between us. Only you and me. You have enriched my life for the better in every possible way. Before you I was just Hades, used to dwelling in the dark, not caring if I lived or died in a blaze of so-called glory.”
I sniffed as he kissed the palm of my hand.
“Ekaterina, will you marry me again? Keep in mind that all of our friends are waiting outside for our wedding, and it would destroy my authority as pakhan in front of my Bratva if you say no.”
