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She should be happy that she got what she wanted, but somehow in the clear light of the day, the fear and doubts of the past began to creep back in.
Yes, she wanted him. She had never stopped wanting him. But she didn’t think desire and longing would compensate for the heartbreak that would follow again.
She thought she could have a coldblooded deal without involving her heart. But the overwhelming feeling of rightness she had felt while holding him in her arms while he took her, shook her up.
I can’t fall in love with him again.
To him, it was just a cold-blooded deal with his ex-girlfriend who had ditched him in the past. He would use their deal like she had offered to get his closure and move on after the cruise ended. But she would once again fall in love with him and go through years of heartbreak.
Taking a deep breath, she sat up slowly, making up her mind. She knew she would come off as flaky, but she couldn’t afford to let Aarav Rathod steal her heart again along with her senses. She would have to maintain distance from him.
With eight more days left for the cruise to end, it might be awkward, but she had to do it.
He will understand.
She tried to think of a way for him to understand without telling him that she was scared to fall in love with him again.
Before she could think of a way, she heard Aarav’s voice as he spoke in the bathroom. She couldn’t make out the words, but he sounded annoyed at someone and was barking out orders. A moment later, he must have ended the call because she heard the bathroom door opening with a click.
Shit.
She closed her eyes quickly, pretending to be asleep. It felt foolish, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him and end things between them when she barely sated her hunger towards him.
She couldn’t hear his footsteps, but she sensed his approach. Her nose tingled as the familiar smell of his musky citrus cologne filled her senses.
“I ordered breakfast in the suite,” his deep voice said.
Her heart thudded as she continued to pretend to be asleep.
“I know you are awake, Tara,” he said.
Her heart jerked listening to her name. Only he and her late family were the ones who called her by the shortened name. It used to make her think of him as her family and everything else to her.
And now, that feeling might return if she didn’t stop it.
She opened her eyes and saw him standing in front of the bed, wearing just his towel. Water droplets clung to his scarred muscled chest, making her mouth tingle.
Resisting the urge to lick those droplets, she dragged her eyes up. Her heart raced seeing the heated look in his eyes. Before things get out of hand, she began to talk.
“I-I have been thinking about our deal…” she said. “I know I suggested it. But I feel we should end it.”
His eyes flashed. “Why?”
She didn’t know what to say. She definitely didn’t want to tell him she was scared she would fall in love and he would break her heart again.
Suddenly, a reason struck her.
“Women change,” she said. “Their sexual needs dissipate over time.”
Hers had dissipated during the last seven years when she had learned to ignore her physical needs.
“It’s a good thing, yours didn’t,” he drawled. He ran a finger over his shoulder where a bite mark had visibly darkened. There were light scratches on his chest and she knew his back would also be covered with long scratches. He used to tease her in the past saying that she gave him more scars than from his Air Force training.
Her cheeks heated and she glared. “You are wrong!” she snapped. “I don’t have such needs anymore. Dheeraj understood it as well, and as a gentleman he didn’t bother me much… except… once in a while.”
His eyes flashed darkly at the mention of Dheeraj. She had deliberately used it, hoping that reminding him of Dheeraj and her would kill his desire towards her.
But he didn’t look angry or disgusted like she expected.
