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Maggie and North both looked overwhelmed, but Cordelia looked extremely pleased with herself.
Esta glared at the sharpshooter. She was furious, but anger was only part of what she felt. Fear also coursed through her, because she understood exactly how much she’d given away—and she had no way to warn Harte that he might be in danger.
“I knew you were hiding something,” Maggie said softly. “But I thought you understood. Any one of those artifacts could have helped so many people—so many Mageus all over this country.”
“One artifact alone wouldn’t have done anything,” Esta told Maggie, feeling too wrung out to bother trying to stop her words now.
“But you know where the others are,” Maggie pressed. “The Antistasi could have used them.”
“The Antistasi won’t even exist if Seshat gets her way. Nothing will,” Esta reminded them.
“You truly believe Seshat’s real,” Maggie said, frowning, like she had not considered that an actual possibility. “She’s not just a story you made up to play on our sympathy?”
“I did use her to play on your sympathy,” Esta admitted. “But that doesn’t mean she’s not as real as I am. Seshat’s not some figment of my imagination or some delusion. She was betrayed by Thoth and trapped in the Book of Mysteries eons ago, and now she’s in Harte—I didn’t lie about that back on the train, and I’m not lying about it now. You were there in the Festival Hall, Maggie. You saw—” Esta didn’t finish. She didn’t want to remember the vacant, alien expression on Harte’s face, or how close she’d come to losing him and to being lost herself. Then another thought occurred to her. “Why would you give me the Quellant if you didn’t believe I was telling the truth about Seshat trying to use my power?”
“What if you do manage to get the five artifacts?” Maggie asked, ignoring the question. But she didn’t have to answer, because Esta understood. Esta had let her fear lead her, and she’d been conned. “If you do manage to use the stones to control Seshat’s power,” Maggie pressed, “would you hand over the artifacts and give that power to the Antistasi?”
Esta hesitated, trying to choke back the truth, but in the end a single word escaped. “No,” she whispered.
“I’m not exactly surprised,” North grumbled.
“Why, Esta?” Maggie asked, looking more hurt and confused. “With that sort of power, the Antistasi could put an end to the Brotherhoods once and for all.”
“Ending the Brotherhoods was never supposed to be the Antistasi’s job,” Esta said, fighting against every word that broke free, trying to choose the words that would work in her favor. “I have to try to make things right.”
“If you gave Seshat’s power to the Antistasi, you could,” Maggie said.
“It’s not that simple.” Esta was shaking her head, but the words came anyway. “We didn’t attack some random Sundren in St. Louis. We attacked the leaders of the Veiled Prophet Society, and more than that, we attacked the president of the United States. No one is going to forget that. Because of the serum, people who didn’t give Mageus a second thought will be more aware of us than ever now. Regular people—Sundren—who never thought about the old magic before are going to be afraid now.”
She paused, trying to figure out how to explain without making things worse. “This isn’t about the Brotherhoods anymore, Maggie. Because we couldn’t stop the serum from deploying, we have changed things in ways we can’t even begin to predict. I have to try to fix that.”
“But all that’s done,” Maggie told her. “It’s over. We can’t go back—”
“Maybe you can’t,” Esta said, clenching her jaw, but the serum was still thick in her blood, and there was little she could do to stop herself.
“You can?” North was frowning.
“With my cuff, yes,” she admitted.
“How far can you go?” North asked, looking distinctly uneasy.
She met his gaze. “A lot farther than your watch.”
Maggie’s eyes widened. “Could you stop the parade?” She sounded interested despite herself.
“Much farther,” Esta said.
“Why would you need to go farther than that?” Maggie asked. “If you could stop the parade, you could stop the serum from deploying.”
“It’s not enough,” she told them.
“Seems like more than enough, if you ask me,” North said.
“Because you don’t understand… The Devil’s Thief never should have existed,” Esta told them. It was too much effort to hold back, so she decided to use the truth serum for her own purposes. She told them about the train leaving New Jersey back in 1902, the damage she’d done because of Seshat’s power, and the way she’d been unable to control slipping through time. “Don’t you see? If the Thief hadn’t been created, there wouldn’t be a Defense Against Magic Act. The Act shouldn’t exist. Without the Thief, things were different. The world was different. It wasn’t perfect, but it was easier. For a while, I didn’t think I could go back—not with Harte. I didn’t think it was possible with the way Seshat’s power affected my affinity, but the Quellant changed all that. I think it’s enough to block Seshat’s power, and if I’m right, then I have to go back. I have to take Harte and the artifacts and try to put history back on the course it should have taken.”
And if the stones disappear? It was possible they might not find an answer for the problem of the artifacts crossing with themselves when she slipped them back through time… but Esta would deal with that worry later. It was more important that they could go back. They could stop this future from becoming.
As silence descended on the room, Esta thought that maybe, just maybe, Maggie would understand. That she would agree.
