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She pursed her lips together. “I didn’t trust him fully, there were a few incidents… he always came up with a perfectly reasonable excuse afterwards but at the time it felt… off… he insisted on using condoms even though I was taking birth control-”
“Why?” He exclaimed loudly, frowning.
“He said he preferred not to have the mess-”
“Ha!” He burst out a laugh, this guy was a grade A jackass, Colt thought. “Are you kidding me? The mess is one of the best parts of it, fuck yeah...” he said, biting his own lips now. He was imagining them together, remembering what had happened in the back of the van, he was hard and his cock was getting wet with pre-cum now. She smiled, a little bashful, then looked up at him through her eyelashes.
“I want you to come inside me,” she repeated.
He cleared his throat. “Kitten, I can certainly do that, gladly…” He trailed off. “Before that first time with you… I’ve never… without a wrap…” He trailed off.
She looked up at him. “Never? You’d been that self controlled, that careful?”
He shrugged in response.
“I want you to fill me up with your cum, Colt,” she said with a croak. “I think about it every night, I want to feel you inside me, just you, nothing between us-”
“April, Jesus I-” He palmed his groin, letting out a strangled sound.
“I’m not on birth control. I can track my cycle and let you know when I’m safe-”
“Fuck. Christ, April,” he replied. Now there was the element of risk, a risk of pregnancy with her… he was harder than he’d ever been in his life. He realized a secret part of him would thank the gods and all the heavens if that should happen. His cock flexed, screaming to be let out. “What if-” he slurred, drunk off desire.
“We’d figure that out when or if we got there,” she replied, matter of factly. She’d obviously been thinking about this. That was hot in itself.
“You’re not on birth control? The other night… you said we were safe…” he said slowly, part of his brain wanting to understand, the other part wanting to rip off her clothes and breed her right here.
“I know, I… I count the days, I know when I’m going to be fertile, when the egg is released, so we’d avoid those days, and when my period is due…”
“Right, right… all eggs and full moons and hippy dippy mother nature shit like that.” He’d heard about this, this was ringing a bell from conversations the sweet butts had back in the MC when he’d been fucking anyone who’d have him.
She laughed, tipping her head back. “Not really full moons but, that kind of thing… anyway, as long as we avoid certain days we’d be safe enough I think…”
“It’s not a sure thing, though, is it? It’s not 100% effective.”
She shook her head. “No. But I mean, if that should happen, it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing…”
Colt frowned at her. “Do you mean, you’d want to…”
“I’d keep your baby, Colt,” she said quietly.
He was speechless. Utterly tetherless in a beautiful blue sea. Floating, under a spell. In a whole new plane of existence that he hadn’t known about until that very moment.
“I have nothing to give a kid right now, April, I can’t… that can’t happen,” he whispered, disappointment creeping in. They shouldn’t risk it.
“There you go thinking so little of yourself. You are a good man Colt, you’d make a great father-”
“Hell, April-”
“Look, I guess I just wanted to say, you wouldn’t have to worry about me refusing to let you see it or anything. If it didn’t work out between us, you’d always be the father, and I’d hope we’d both always be there for them-”
His head was whirling. Desire was still pumping through his veins and now he was imagining her pregnant, imagining them together, with a little baby. He felt a tugging inside him, a pull so strong, so completely innate within him.
“April, we are on the run from a dangerous MC who wants us dead, we have nothing except a hunk of cash from your daddy and a stolen van… we live day to day right now, we couldn’t have a kid…”
“I’ve been thinking about this, right now we’re just driving aimlessly. Somehow, they know we’re in a van. They must, they keep following us, they are always a few steps behind but we haven’t been able to shake them off. We need to stop. We need to turn around and face them, head on. We need to win back our freedom. We need to deal with this.”
He shook his head, his dick forgotten. They were worrying about a future that would never happen, a kid that would never exist, most likely. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.
