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“I took the day off. You’ll never believe this, but I sent a letter to acquisitions this morning about my book. This here—” he indicated the screen as he opened the notebook “—is the beginning of Book Two.”
Melody’s mouth fell open slowly. “I can’t believe you finally did it.”
He looked pleased with himself. “It took a whole lot of nudges from God, but yeah. I stepped out in faith.”
A deep yearning for a faith like his filled Melody until she was overflowing, and she turned her face away. “Good for you. I’m proud of you, TJ.”
He approached so quietly she didn’t hear him until he was kneeling by her side once more. When he touched her hand, she jumped.
“Mel, can I pray with you?”
She ached when she looked at him. An ache that sent the agony of her cramps scrambling for its money. “You think I’m that bad?”
His cheek ticked in a way that saiddon’t be ridiculous. “No, I think you’re that hurt by life. Just let me, okay?” Before she could offer up a denial as she intended, he clasped her hand in his and bowed his head.
“Father God, I’m before you right now with Melody. You know her better than I do. You know every part of her. You know all her pains and all her pleasures. I simply ask you to heal the ones that ache and bless the ones that don’t. Let her know how much you love her. In your name, Amen.” He squeezed her hand, sweeping his thumb across her knuckles once, then released it and rolled back on his heels. “If you need me, I’ll be writing. But I’m not leaving you today.”
Melody’s eyes trailed him as he crossed her living room. TJ was the best person she knew. Maybe…maybe she had been wrong about him. He’d learned a lot of her faults lately. Certainly not all. But he had witnessed her at her lowest multiple times in the past few weeks.
And he was still here.
That wonderful, warm feeling washed over her and filled her up. She still didn’t know what it was, but she wanted to keep it forever.
She wanted to keep TJ forever.
“TJ?”
He looked over the top of his computer at her.
“Can we talk about last night?”
He lowered the lid halfway. “You don’t have to.”
“But…I want to.” For the first time in her life, she wanted to talk about the hard stuff with TJ. Not hide it away.
“Okay.” He stood again, bringing his chair with him. He planted it close to her at an angle where he had a clear view of her face. “Go ahead.”
Where to start? She looked at the ceiling, summoning courage.Help me. She wasn’t sure who she was talking to, but whoever it was answered with the oddest sensation of assurance. Everything would be all right. She didn’t know how. It just would.
“I never knew sex was supposed to be special.” At the quiet resting between them, she glanced at TJ. He looked serious and contemplative, not disappointed, so she forged ahead. “No one told me it should be special. My mom used it as a commodity. To get things out of men. And the guys—the guys I’ve been with, they treated it like it was just something to do to have a good time. Nothing special.” She shook her head. “I didn’t know.”
His lips pinched in sad sympathy. “I don’t know a lot about sex, Mel. But I do know God intended it to be very, very special. I’m sorry you were robbed of that so many times.”
Her eyes flooded. How could he speak so gently to her when she’d shredded his soul?
“TJ, I need you to know that—that I’d already lost my virginity when you met me.”
His face went still and white before his eyes closed, his posture sagging and shuddering with distaste at her words. “You were thirteen when I met you!” His tone croaked with protest, like if he didn’t believe it, it wouldn’t be true.
“Yes. I was thirteen.”
When his blue eyes opened, they looked at her with anguish.
“I had no idea what I was doing. It’s just what—what I’d seen my mom do since I was five.”
TJ’s eyes glossed over with liquid, and Melody almost clapped a hand to her mouth. She’d never seen him cry. And he was crying for her.
“It’s okay.”
