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When Mom at long last retired to Melody’s room and closed the door, Melody stole across the living room and dropped to the couch like a limp, wilted flower.
* * * * *
TJ hit dial. Again and again he called Melody’s phone, but there was no answer. Standing in the cold park, blind to the dropping temperature, he vacillated between wildly worrying that she’d had an accident on the way home and the certainty that she was gazing at her phone each time and choosing to ignore him.
Had he truly lost her? Was it over? Fourteen years of friendship—fourteen years of love—gone in one blink?
The acute sting of rejection spread through his body like snake venom. This was why he had never tried again. This was why he stuck with friendship. This was why he stayed on the safe side.
No, TJ.Don’t go there.
He’d never go there again, so help him God. And help from God he would need. Help to find his way to Melody’s heart. And help to accept it if he failed.
Please, Lord…
When he got home, he fell on his knees beside his bed and prayed until he fell asleep, his face slumped against his mattress. Aching knees awoke him in the middle of the night, fire shooting up and down his neck.
None of it compared to the pain in his heart where a Melody-sized hole was forming.
Chapter Fourteen
TJ dusted chalk off his fingers and let his climbing harness drop to the floor in a tangle of nylon webbing around his feet.
He’d never gone climbing first thing in the morning before. Morning workouts were for Melody. He was an a.m.-meditation type of guy. But since sleep had been fleeting last night and he laid awake staring at the ceiling at four in the morning, he’d risen early and headed to the gym before work. He needed the endorphin boost this Friday morning.
Anything to get his focus off Melody.
Should he try calling her again?
He checked the time as he headed toward the locker room. She was a night owl and usually slept until close to eight since she didn’t have to show at the community college until mid-morning. He would hate to wake her, although knowing her as he did, she likely hadn’t slept any better than he.
She likely wouldn’t answer him if she was awake, either.
Grimly, he gathered his things, drove home for a quick shower and breakfast, and headed to work. His concentration wasn’t in prime shape today, but he did his best, checking his phone every few minutes, hoping Melody had texted, knowing she wouldn’t. When his phone did buzz, he almost leaped out of his chair, and in his jittery state, he dropped the device to the floor.
It was only Lucy, asking him to meet her for lunch. He wasn’t in the mood, but it was probably what his mood needed. She didn’t smile when he walked into the deli she’d suggested near Reliant Tidings Publishing. Juby’s Jumbo Subs had the best sandwiches in town.
“You told Melody,” she said, skipping any standard greeting.
“How’d you know?” TJ bit into the twelve-inch sandwich Lucy had ordered for him after a silent prayer. She knew he liked turkey and Swiss with pepperoncini on a bed of spinach and extra avocado. Because it was her favorite, too. That twin thing. The only difference was his slightly denser and pricier gluten-free bread that wrapped around the fixings.
“She’s a smart cookie. She put two and two together since I’m the one who prodded her to set up the app and called to confront me.”
“And?”
“She’s not happy with me. I apologized and tried to explain my reasons, but she wasn’t interested in talking.” Lucy hesitated. “Her mom showed up last night.”
TJ lowered his food to the paper wrapper. Tonight would be bad enough. Seeing her mom last night, after his confession and the subsequent fallout, was probably enough to test the last reserves of Melody’s strength.
And she was strong. So strong. She just didn’t know it.
Any hint of appetite gone, TJ pushed his half-eaten sandwich aside. “I don’t know what to do. She panicked and ran when I told her.”
Lucy’s lips pressed together, her whole face appearing pinched. “I’m sorry. This is my fault. That was the dumbest idea I’ve had in a long time. I should never have suggested it.”
TJ agreed, but he’d been dumb right along with her. “Don’t beat yourself up. I’m the one who went along with it. I knew better. I did this to myself by not being honest with Melody long ago.” He sighed and leaned back, extending his legs to cross at the ankles. “I should have told her how deep my feelings were when she said she only wanted to be friends in high school. I should have tried harder to find out why she never let me drive her home, why she quit church, why she went to college early. I was so scared of being totally rejected by her and losing her that I quit being honest and brave. Now I lost her anyway.”
Lucy looked sad. “You can’t give up. I think she loves you.”
