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The truth was she deserved better.
Maybe…
Her breath came in a shaky, dare-I-hope shudder.
Maybe she deserved TJ.
Remembering the discarded letter, she crossed the room and snatched it from the bottom of the box where it had fallen. Inside was a sweet, typical man-loves-a-woman Valentine’s Day card. That was all well and good, but what Melody really cared about was the lined sheets of paper inside filled with words. TJ’s words. TJ’s beautiful words.
As warmth filled her up until she was overflowing like a cup under a running faucet, she knew what it was. It was love. It wasbeingloved. It was a feeling she hadn’t experienced from anyone before. Until TJ.
She opened his letter, and by the end, she was weeping. He was right. He’d been right all along. Despite his foolish scheme with online dating, she had been the real fool living in fear of herself. Finally, she saw that God had not abandoned her years ago. No, he had given her two things. The only two things she needed. Talent and TJ.
It couldn’t be a coincidence that she had the ability to play any instrument she picked up, although she’d chosen to perfect only four of those. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the band teacher had a spare trombone when she’d asked to join and that he’d recommended her to Artisan’s Hope to continue learning. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the band teacher had urged her to apply for a music scholarship at a top music college when she never would have dreamed of that by herself. It couldn’t be a coincidence that when she had been desperate to return to Silver Lake City to be near TJ, two jobs had been available. One that allowed her to do something she loved and share that love, and another that paid back the place that helped her develop that love.
None of it was a coincidence. It was God’s gift, paving a way for her out of the life of poverty and dysfunction her mom had crafted for herself.
She had blamed God for leaving her, but he’d been there for her all along. In music.
And in TJ. Her mom was right. His love and loyalty were without comparison. He had shown up in her life shortly after she’d crossed the line with an older boy. There was no telling to what depths she would have sunk if she hadn’t met TJ when she did. He called her to a higher place and always viewed her as if she’d remained there even when she had sunk back low.
He viewed her with all the potential she possessed to be better.
Just like God did.
He had demonstrated unconditional love, the kind that never gave up in the face of hurt, never stopped trying to climb over her barriers, never quit finding new ways to show up and be there for her in any capacity she would let him.
Just like God did.
No, God hadn’t abandoned her. He had stayed right there beside her throughout her life—in TJ.
Tears streamed down Melody’s face as she sank to her knees and buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know what to say, God. Years of self-hate make me want to insist I don’t deserve this. But you’ve shown me that you believe I do. So, I’m going to say thank you…and accept the gift you’ve been trying to give me all along.”
Peace sank through her, grounding her in a way nothing ever had before. Not even TJ. Melody remained with bowed head, soaking in the God who had been there, waiting for her to notice him her entire life.
She had never felt so loved and accepted. It was a feeling she never wanted to lose. She would need help to hold onto it.
“I’ve been wrong about myself, God. It’s going to be hard to change that. I need your help. That’s why I’m giving my heart into your hands. It’s kind of in pieces. Can you put them back together?”
It wouldn’t be easy. She was under no illusions. But with God and TJ at her side, she could heal. She would learn to view herself as the same wonderful person they did.
TJ!She jumped to her feet and looked around desperately to check the time. The drama with her mom had dragged out longer than she had realized. It was heading for six o’clock now. She’d missed the wedding. But TJ still needed a date for the reception. She happened to know it was being held at the country club south of town.
Quietly she stole into her bedroom and rolled the closet door open. During college, she had to purchase many lovely dresses for recitals and performances. It had cost her a fortune and many skipped meals. She’d kept all of them and had never worn them twice. What a waste.
But tonight one would make a comeback. It might be a little vintage, but the concept was timeless. A bright red velvet ball gown with a heart neckline. She shimmied a lacy cami on first to provide modesty, then plunged into the dress, letting it settle around her. It fit like a glove until past her knees, then fell in soft, looser billows around her calves, slimmer than the average mermaid silhouette cut. Subtle sequins formed in a sort of repeating shooting-star pattern around her waist. She paired the dress with an opaque black shawl and her lowest black heels. In the bathroom, she applied enough makeup to hide the puffiness her face had collected over the past few days.
She was done shedding tears. It was time to shine.
Leaving her hair loose and long, the way she knew TJ liked it best, she slipped on her coat, grabbed her keys, and gathered her courage. Her life would never be the same again after this night.
It would be so much better.
The dark, winding road to Silver Lake Country Club was slow going. The temperature had slipped below freezing in the last hour, and the pavement was slippery. Profound relief swept Melody when she came to a stop in a parking spot. Never mind that she had to fight a cold blast of wind until she made it to the door coatless. Who showed up in a dress like this cloaked in winter gear? Not her.
A sign inside saidBenson-Halverson Wedding – Private Event.She approached the man at the reception desk, the lively sounds of dance music spilling from what looked like a large banquet hall beyond them.
“Can I help you?”
