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“Go away, Avantika.”
A moment of silence followed.
“Alright!” she finally said. “I’ll let this go for now. But you and I will talk.”
She walked away, her footsteps receding until he heard a door shut in the distance.
He sat on the bed, clasping his head in his hands. This was not how he’d wanted her to learn of the scars covering his back. Scars that matched hers.
He rubbed his temples. The truth of that night and the events leading up to it were even more gory than could be expressed in words. These scars were a reminder to him of his guilt, his helplessness, and the fact that he’d been unable to prevent the disaster that had followed.
In retrospect, perhaps, he could have done things differently, but he’d been too young then and forced to be in a position no one ever ought to be put into. Caught off guard by every event of that night, he’d done the best he could, which, of course, hadn’t been enough. He knew. He knew it too well and better than everybody else how that night had changed and thus shaped all their lives, especially his.
21
“Neil, are you going to your Uncle Aaryan’s house?” Avantika asked their son.
A garbled yes came from the direction of Neil’s room. It was late in the evening, and both, Dev and she, were busy working on the dining table. She was sitting opposite him, pondering over Tiya’s latest text message while he worked on his laptop.
Five days had passed since he’d moved in with her, and she was aware that he still had a few things left to be done to complete the handover of his entire business to her brothers. Shaurya had been keeping her updated. Just this afternoon, she’d learned from him that he, Aaryan, and Vihaan had visited theLuthra Inc.offices and met with Dev’s core team. Shaurya had told her that Dev’s core team had been prepared in advance for such a possibility. However, now they all had a gigantic task ahead of them of understanding and taking overLuthra Inc.’s vast empire. Shaurya foresaw several late nights for all of them in the future until everything was sorted out.
Avantika looked up from her phone screen and caught Dev watching her. She opened her mouth to tell him something, but he dropped his eyes back on his laptop screen. She sighed in frustration. His silence had become aggravating. Ever since that night when she’d caught him shirtless and seen the scars covering most of his back, he’d become even more reclusive. Even now, her chest hurt, remembering the way his back had been destroyed. She had questions. So many. And the answers, she’d contemplated, to those questions were soul-crushing.
She’d been thinking about this endlessly, and it had struck her that Dev had carefully kept his back out of her reach throughout that morning when they’d made love in London. He hadn’t even allowed her to touch his back when she’d asked to. Instead, he’d held both her hands above her head as he’d plundered her body. Her heart skittered as she remembered that time. She exhaled slowly.
While she hadn’t thought much of it then, now it made sense. He hadn’t wanted her to learn of his scars. Why though?
She raked a hand down her hair, bubbling with irritation. Damn the man! Why couldn’t he communicate better? It was not like she could unsee what she had. She needed answers. But Dev was choosing to be very obstinate.
He refused to talk to her more than needed, and the only time he chose to communicate was when he asked questions pertaining to Neil. He wanted to learn as much as he could about his son and asked dozens of questions when Neil wasn’t around.
Her finger skimmed around the edges of her phone as she watched him while he worked. Dev had settled in completely in her home and looked at ease here—like he belonged with her and Neil. It sometimes felt like a dream to see him here, looking so comfortable in her house.
A month ago, even the thought of him sitting in front of her here in her home—her safe zone—would never have occurred to her. But now, as the days passed, she was more and more convinced that he’d never hurt her or Neil. Dev was spending his maximum time with Neil in order to get to know him. He’d spent hours going through the baby pictures of Neil, checking his school work, learning what he was good at, what his hobbies were, and who his friends were. He even took him to his football class, and stayed back after the class to play with him.
He was determined to be an active participant in his son’s life. Neil, of course, was overjoyed and he was basking under his father’s attention, looking happier than ever.
Since she’d refused all her recent photography assignments, and her translation work at the Indian Embassy allowed her to work from home, she’d been at home a lot, and Dev was now always around.
He’d even claimed a corner of the dining table as his own, and she often found him working on his laptop when he wasn’t spending time with their son. His was the first face she saw when she woke up. While she began the day with her yoga and breathing exercises, he went to the gym in her building. Neil was usually awake when Dev returned, and after that, he took up all his time. The three of them spend their days like a regular family, taking their meals together, doing the dishes, and talking, mainly to Neil.
It was only when she and Dev were alone that he resorted to his quiet and grouchy self, refusing to converse with her. Her attempts to talk to him had met with either stoic silence or monosyllabic replies. He was still quite angry and visibly upset with her—she acknowledged that. What she didn’t like was his inflexibility. They needed to talk and get the past out of their way, and after seeing his scars, she was more convinced than ever that she needed to listen to his story.
She was well aware that Dev’s silence stemmed from the fact that he thought she’d betrayed him when it came to Neil. Which was wrong. At that time, she’d been only looking out for her son, and she just hadn’t decided if she trusted Dev enough to tell him about Neil. She exhaled. They had so much unsettled between them, and the first step was to hear about Dev’s version of the past. Why couldn’t he see that?
“Dev,” she called out.
He didn’t even look at her.
“You can’t pretend that I don’t exist.”
“You’re right.” He continued to type as he spoke, still not looking at her. “I’ve been trying to do that and not succeeding since you keep forcing me to converse with you.”
“You’ve always hated long silences, and now suddenly they’re your best friend?”
He didn’t respond to that, of course.
“You’re annoying.” Her complaint was met with icy silence.
