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Chapter 29
Gabriella
Ten weeks later
Isit on the couch, the TV on in the background, but I’m not watching or listening. I’m numb. I swallow hard, trying to come to terms with the news I’ve just gotten.
I should have been more careful. I should have realized the pain medication would have made my pill be wonky, not to mention the days I spent in the hospital.
Pregnant.
Damn. After the awful birth I had with Anthony, I never really thought much more about having another. But whilst in the throes of passion with Ales, I agreed to letting him impregnate me. The last thing I want is a repeat of what I went through—this time I may not survive. My heart won’t stop pounding, my palms are sweaty, and I’m trembling.
After what happened in New York, it took a while for me to heal. Alessio was with me every step of the way, holding my hand through the pain. He didn’t bring us back to the apartment.Instead, he rented out a house for us to stay in, knowing that being in the apartment would be too much.
Thankfully, Anthony doesn’t have any nightmares or lasting effects from being kidnapped. I can only hope that he was too young to understand what truly happened. As for me, I’m slowly being able to close my eyes and not think of that day. It’s going to take time until I can do it without seeing that man take Anthony, but I know I’ll get there eventually.
I know Alessio has been wanting this. He set out from the beginning to get me knocked up and I laughed it off, but now that it’s happened, I’m struck with paralyzing fear of what could happen. I can’t help but feel raw and numb at the prospect of my child and me dying during childbirth, leaving Anthony and Alessio alone. That thought alone has me hyperventilating.
I’m losing it. God, most people when finding out they are pregnant are overjoyed and cry happy tears. I’m sitting here sobbing with fear.
“Mama?” Alessio’s voice is deep but silky. I love the way he calls me Mama. It sends shivers throughout my body. “Baby, what’s happened?”
I suck in a sharp breath as he crouches down in front of me, his calloused hands framing my face. “Ales,” I breathe, unable to stop the panic.
“Breathe for me, Mama. Come on, you’ve got this.” I listen to his voice, focusing on it, using it as a channel to guide me to the present. “That’s it, baby, breathe.”
It takes us a while, but he gets me to a place where I can think and breathe. I’m able to focus clearly on him. My breathing, although a little erratic, becomes steadier.
“Talk to me,” he urges.
I take a steadying breath, looking at him, watching him, wanting to see his face when I tell him my news. I’m scared. Beyond that. I’m terrified.
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, that fear grasping my heart with an ice-cold hand. “I’m so fucking scared, Ales.” I swallow back the rising bile. “When I went into labor with Anthony, it was awful. We both almost died.”
His beautiful honey eyes flash with fear, worry, and confusion. “What happened?”
I recount one of the worst days of my life. I tell him about the pain and heartache at the thought I was losing our baby. I walk him through everything that happened: the confusion, pain, and fear I felt at not really knowing what was going on, and then ultimately the emergency cesarean that was our only option. I was hemorrhaging. If they didn’t get the bleeding under control, they would have had to give me a hysterectomy. God, even thinking back to that day, hurts.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks softly.
Over the past ten weeks, things between us have been amazing. We’re settling back in Denver. To my shock, Alessio purchased my old home, a place I loved and that gave me some of the best memories. It’s where I met Ales, where Anthony was conceived. To have us living here together was the best present I could have ever been given. Only to find out that Ales purchased it not long after I fled Denver. I love him more with every passing day. Being here, away from New York, I have watched him grow in his new position as second-in-command to my father. The men love him and have accepted him with open arms. I believe that’s down to Ales and I having Anthony, but I’m so proud of how he’s adapted to being away from his family.
“I didn’t realize I’d be this afraid, Ales,” I tell him, taking another steadying breath. “I knew you wanted another baby; I just didn’t expect it to come with this debilitating fear.”
He pulls me into his arms and carries me to our bed, not once saying a word. My heart is in my throat. Is this a deal breaker? What if I can’t get past the fear? Will this be the end of us?
He lies me on the bed and looms over me, his fists either side of my face. “Mama, I couldn’t give a fuck if you never got pregnant again. While I’d love to watch your amazing body change as you grow our baby, I’m not putting you through that if you don’t want it,” he tells me as he leans in closer to me. “You want to go to the clinic and terminate, I’ll be right at your side.”
I stare up at him. “Really?”
“Mama, you are all I have wanted for the past four years. You think I’m going to throw us away because of something that could kill you? Fuck no. No matter what happens, you’re mine, and I fucking love you.”
I sob. This man is amazing, and I’m so glad he’s in my life.
“Don’t cry, Mama. No matter what, we’re going to be okay.”
I smile up at him. “I love you,” I tell him, needing him to know just how much.
