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His chest was a massive wall, his shoulders big as boulders, and he was stunning, his hair a disheveled mess, understandably so since—I assumed—he’d rolled out of bed. But his attractiveness wasn’t in the darkness of his hair or the strength of his body in front of me. It was in the gentleness in his demeanor, in his touch.
He was a walking anomaly. His body was built like a football player, his persona as big as a god, but he was warm, kind, quiet.
His eyes flashed to my mouth, and I swore it was as though the air had been vacuumed out of the room. My heart was in my throat. I hadn’t been this close to a man in years.
Without warning, my nipples pebbled under my shirt.Shit!And of course, I wasn’t wearing a bra.
His eyes flickered down to my breasts, and he let out a shaky breath. Stepping back, he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair, and then he turned around and walked straight to the fridge, as though he was embarrassed that I’d caught him staring when I should be the one embarrassed.
“Let me get you a glass of water, and then I’ll clean up this floor.”
I hopped off the table. “I can get it.”
“No.” He turned to face me, clenching his jaw. His stern tone had me stilling in my spot.
“Please … just sit down, Becky. I don’t want you to hurt yourself again.”
I stood there, still and stoic, blinking at him. I had a feeling this man hardly used the wordplease. So, I sat down. Like a child being told. And for some reason, even though I’d fended for myself for most of my life, I obeyed. And for another reason completely unknown to me … I liked it.
Charles
One thing that I knew about myself was that I wasn’t a liar. I didn’t lie to others, and I most definitely did not lie to myself. When Natalie had died, I hadn’t told myself that everything was going to be fine. I had known in my gut that things would never be fine, but I’d straightened my shoulders and told myself I had two girls to raise and had people who depended on me.
I’d decided life was shit, but the truth was, I had the business and little lives to take care of.
So, now, I wasn’t about to lie and tell myself that I wasn’t attracted to Becky—because I was. She was breathtakingly beautiful but in a quiet way. She didn’t want to be noticed, but I noticed. I noticed everything about her.
When I handed her the glass of water, my eyes betrayed me and flickered to her well-endowed chest. Again. Fuck, I was a terrible human being. The absolute worst cliché that a man could ever be—attracted to his nanny.
I tore my gaze away, grunted, and headed to get the mop.
“I can do it, Charles.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I just want this taken care of because the girls will be down here in the morning, and I don’t want little pieces of glass everywhere.”
She sat in silence, and I worked in silence. It took a few minutes to get everything wiped and dried, and I joined Becky at the table with my own glass of water.
“Do you always do that? Sit in the dark?” she asked again.
“Sometimes,” I said, focusing on the condensation on the glass.
What I wouldn’t tell her was that, most nights, I was down here, in the dark. Because I couldn’t stand being in my room alone, without Nat. I used to be the man who slept soundly every night. Natalie used to complain that as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was snoring. I was no longer that man. I hardly slept anymore. I was used to functioning on little to no sleep, mostly because I’d relive that horrid night over and over again.
“Why?” Her eyebrows quirked.
“I have trouble sleeping,” I said honestly—too honestly.
“Me too.”
There was a tenseness in her voice that had me locking my eyes with her. They were the prettiest green color I’d ever seen. I found myself wanting to drown in them.
“Why?” I asked. More curious than I should’ve been.
She shook her head, focusing on the table now.
I knew not to push too hard. I knew she had a past, and what I needed to focus on was the fact that she was our nanny—and not look at her breasts. What an honorable employer would do was get up, say good night, and let her get on her way, but I was a damn nosy employer. I had a curiosity so strong, it was hard to swallow this damn water I kept drinking.
I knew how this worked.
