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I held her for minutes that felt like hours. Eventually, I stood, tightened my hold on her, and marched into the house, past the kids and Brad, whose eyes widened as I proceeded up the stairs and into my room, dropping my ass on the edge of the bed.
Who knew how long I held her? But I held her until her sobs subsided. Until those cries eventually ceased. Until the sun set through the blinds in my window.
I kicked off my shoes and backed us into the headboard of my bed, pulling her into me, her head still tucked in the crook of my neck. We were both soaking wet, so I pulled the blanket over us.
As I took in my room, I realized this was the second time she’d been in this room, and the thought brought me back to Natalie’s death. The feeling of unbelievable heartbreak hit me in the gut, and I pulled Becky tighter to me. She was comforting me now, without even knowing it.
I listened to the even sounds of her breathing. Though I couldn’t see her face, I knew she was still awake.
“He tried to drown me,” she finally said, her voice a light croak.
Every muscle in my body tensed. My breathing slowed, and I needed to know that I’d heard her correctly. “What?” My fingers went to the base of her neck, massaging.
“When I tried to leave him the second time, he tried to drown me in the lake. He took me to the place I feared the most, and I was helpless.” A sob escaped her, and I held her tighter. “That day, I thought I was going to die. And I almost did. I was almost there … until he hit me so hard, punched my back to get the water out.” She paused again and then uttered, “I wanted to die.”
The fury almost choked me, and my temper flared. I gritted my teeth as I squeezed her against me. My lips thinned into a straight line, and my body numbed with increasing rage and shock.
“I was with him when I left foster care. He was the first guy to come into my life and love me. At least, I thought it was love … it was the only love I knew.”
I swallowed the bile in the back of my throat.
I want to kill the bastard.
“The first time he hit me, I was in shock. He apologized and cried and begged me up and down that he didn’t mean it. And the cycle would repeat again. Where love and fear were distorted in my head.”
My body battled to stay still. I had an uncontrollable urge to get up and find this guy and teach him a lesson for ever touching a woman this way.
“The first time I left, he stabbed me in the ankle. Third try was a charm though. I got away. But I had to. I knew I would never live to see a fourth.”
I pulled back, unable to take any more, framing her face in my hands. “No one will hurt you again. Ever.” I leaned in, our faces a breath apart. “I never want you to be scared, okay? I never want you to worry if he’ll find you ’cause he won’t. He won’t.” My thumbs brushed across the apples of her cheeks.
“He said he’d find me.” Tears fell from her cheeks again, harder this time. “And I’m just afraid that … that the people around me, the people I love, will be collateral damage.”
Love.
“He won’t. I live my life to protect my family.” Out of all my qualities, this was my strength. My innate need to take care of the people around me. It was what I loved to do; it was what I had been born to do. “My loved ones.” I swiped at her tears escaping her eyes. “Don’t be afraid … I’m here. And I’ll make sure everything is okay.”
Our eyes locked, and something passed between us. I didn’t know when she’d decided to trust me. All I knew was that she did because a moment later, her arms went around my neck in a tight vise, her soft body crushing against my hard one.
I held her in the silence, knowing I’d never let anything happen to her. I made that promise to her tonight, but I also made a promise to myself. I couldn’t help what had happened to Nat, though I’d blamed myself for years. In the end, there was nothing I could do.
With Becky, I would use all my resources to keep her safe. This I was capable of.
I eventually adjusted us, laying her head on my chest, brushing my fingers through her damp hair.
“Thank you for telling me.”
I knew how much she had given of herself tonight, and she had to know she was in safe hands.
Her fingers made tiny circles on my chest. “I wanted to tell you. For the first time … I want to let someone in. I want to be happy.”
My lips made it to her forehead. “I’m glad. Everyone deserves to be happy.” Myself included.
* * *
Sleep took us both eventually, but when I woke up hours later, it was late in the evening. My gaze traveled to the clock on the far wall, noting that it was two in the morning. The worry and concern from earlier disappeared and was replaced with something utterly different.
Desire.
