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But as I repeated the mantra over and over in my head, I knew it wasn’t true.
That I wasn’t fully healed because, if I was, why did I place her belongings on that side of the sink? It wasn’t even her side of the sink. This was my parents’ house. I’d moved her in even though she was no longer physically here. In the beginning, after she’d passed, seeing her belongings had given me comfort. Now, it just reminded me of everything I’d lost.
I closed my eyes, and the only thing I saw behind my eyes was Nat—her smile that Sarah had inherited, the blonde in her hair that was so much like Mary’s. Our wedding day, filled with love, our families and both of our parents surrounding us.
The birth of Sarah.
Her first birthday.
Her first day of school.
Me taking over as CEO of Brisken Printing Corporation.
Then, the endless sorrow that hit after.
I rested my palms on the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
Maybe I’d been lying to myself all this time, thinking I was over it. That I’d healed and moved on. I’d been with Vivian, hadn’t I?
But that was different, purely physical. She didn’t share a place in my heart.
And I was making room for Becky, in a place that Natalie had once taken residence.
Problem was, Natalie was still very much present even though I’d thought I’d closed that chapter years ago.
Chapter 28
Becky
I was staring at the ceiling, wondering how much time had passed. It wasn’t hours, but it felt like it. The door to the bathroom was still shut. And now, as I lay naked and waiting in his bed, I wondered what was going on.
When he finally emerged, he had boxers on and one hand on his hip, his gaze toward the ground. I pushed myself to my elbows.
“So …” He scratched his head, still not meeting my eyes. “This is embarrassing. But …” He was no longer hard.
While my lady parts wept, I sat up, meeting his stare, smiling because I didn’t want to make an awkward situation more awkward. “Too much excitement for one day? Maybe we should just call it a night.” I moved further up the bed to the headboard and patted the spot beside me.
His eyebrows pulled together, and his gaze teetered back to the ground.
Well, shit. This can’t be good.
Maybe I was reading this situation all wrong. I shouldn’t have assumed that I was allowed in his bed, right? My jaw locked. Talk about throwing me all kinds of weird, crazy, mixed signals. My cheeks flamed as I moved off of the bed, taking the sheet with me, remembering that I was naked.
“Where are you going?” The worry was heavy in his tone.
“To my room.”
I exhaled loudly, but just as I made it to the door, he advanced toward me and gripped my wrist, forcing me to face him.
“Don’t go.” His shoulders slumped as he stepped into me, his eyes downturned.
I sighed and tugged my arm back so that I could readjust my sheet and hold it against myself. I suddenly felt too exposed. “What’s wrong, Charles? One minute, you’re hot and heavy, and the next, you’re icy cold.”
I tried to read the emotion behind his eyes, but they were guarded, unreadable.
My voice quivered as I asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
“Of course not.” Panic settled in his features.
