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“Yes, a daughter. Camilla. She’ll be seven in a few months. I bought the lab for her. You should meet her. She’s a budding little scientist in the making.” I was grinning like a proud papa, and Jason gave me a smile.
“That’s great. I’d like to meet her. I hear things didn’t work out with Melissa?”
He knew a surprising amount about me while I knew hardly anything about him. I guess Joyce was keeping tabs and giving him the info.
“No. She left a few years ago. Haven’t seen her since, except to get the divorce and sort out the paperwork. Didn’t want anything to do with Camilla either.”
“Geez. I’m sorry, Dad.” Jason said genuinely. He stood. “Look, I’ve got to go. Sorry for interrupting your meeting.”
“Oh, no need to rush off. The meeting was over anyway.” I stood and followed him to the door. “Can we schedule a dinner? Or drinks? I’d love to catch up more. I want to hear all about you.” I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip through my fingers.
“Yeah, that would be nice.” He dug in his pocket. “Here’s my card. We can set something up.”
“Thanks, Jason. Good to see you again.” I looked down at the card.
He was still at the same investment firm.
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll see you later.” He left, and we didn’t hug or shake hands.
I didn’t want to press him. When the door shut behind him, I went back to my desk in a haze. So much had happened in the past ten minutes; my brain couldn’t really register it all. With my elbows in my desk and my head in my hands, I tried to wrap my mind around everything. I couldn’t decide what to think about first. What had just happened, and should not have happened, with Cassie, or the fact that my son had just suddenly burst into my life.
I chose to think about Jason. The Cassie thing was a weird situation, and I needed distance from the heat of lust to think about it clearly. As for Jason’s arrival, it was a dream come true, and I hadn’t expected anything to change after so many years of silence. I breathed out, a smile on my face.
Maybe I was finally taking steps in the right direction. The lab for Camilla, working hard to make a future for her, and these right steps might have helped lead Jason back to me.
And Cassie. Don’t forget about Cassie.
How could I? I couldn’t shake the feeling that my right steps had led me to her too. It was crazy and wild, and it was very weird that Jason had dated her. Yet, I knew myself. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away if she felt the same way as me.
I just hoped that wouldn’t be a wrong choice to make me lose everything yet again.
* * *
Jason is here.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
For at least ten seconds, I could literally not think of another three words in the English language as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. My skin was pale, and there were tears in my eyes. Against my ribs, my heart was pounding like a battering ram.
Jason. My ex, the man who broke my heart. The man I never thought I’d see again. The man I neverwantedto see again.And he is Brad’s son. Brad, who just fingered me until I came and fell to pieces in his arms.
This was like a creepy soap opera that was so not cool to have to live out in real life. I splashed some water on my face, still in disbelief.
What am I going to do?
I felt like I was going to be sick. I made the decision right then and there. I had to go home. I felt like I was going to puke everywhere, and being ill in a research lab is not a good thing. Quickly, I rushed to the locker room where I picked up my stuff and sent Stevie a quick text.
Sorry. I had to go home. Don’t worry. Brad didn’t yell at me or anything. Just feeling sick. Will explain later.
I left then, signing out with Dan, telling him I was taking sick leave, and then I was in my car and on the way home. When I got back to the apartment, I sent a quick text to Sadie and Jane. I hoped they were free that night because I needed them.
Wine and cookie emergency. Get here tonight please.
A few hours later, I had showered and was sitting in front of the TV with a glass of wine only partly untouched. Seeing Jason again brought it all back. I had built up the strong Cassie façade after our breakup, and it had taken me years to get it back. In seconds, it crumbled, seeing his face again.
He looked good. Too good, and now that I knew he was Brad’s son, I could see a slight resemblance. It should have been creepy, but I still couldn’t forget the feel of Brad’s fingers inside me, curling and touching me in all the right places. He sure knew what he was doing, and I didn’t feel the amount of guilt I thought would be appropriate. I knew I should feel weird. Was it, like, incest or something?
“We’re here!” Sadie cried as she opened the door, holding wine, and Jane came in with a box of freshly made cookies.
