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Derek helped her to sit down again while he went down and got the pizza. I watched my friends as they talked to each other, and I went to pour myself another drink in the kitchen. I had been jealous of them in the past, but it was there now again, even stronger, ringing through me.
I did not begrudge them their happiness, but I was frustrated with the world that my own happiness seemed so far away. And I was getting in my own way, but I didn’t know how to get out of it.
CHAPTER22
CASSIE
The next day,I went to Sadie’s yoga class in the park, and after I went home to shower, my buzzer rang. When I went to see who it was over the intercom, my mom’s voice rang through my apartment.
“I’ve got wine!” she trilled, and unable to do otherwise, I buzzed her up.
I mean, who denied entry to their own mother? I wasn’t yet that far gone. She popped in the door in an oddly cheery way like she always did, wearing a light sundress, her hair tied up in a ponytail. I knew she wanted something. Or at least wanted to tell me something.
“My dear,” she said, kissing me on the cheek, and then bustling into the kitchen while I shut the door. “How are you?”
She wants to act like nothing happened between her and Brad.
“Fine. Jane moved out yesterday, and Sadie will move out too soon.”
“Oh, I see.” She was bending over, looking into my cupboards, and I didn’t know if she’d even heard me.
“The opener’s on the countertop.” I sat in one of the counter chairs while she stood again and smiled.
“That’s my girl. Always keep it handy.” She opened the wine and poured two glasses.
It was a cool, white wine, an odd choice for a November day, but I knew it was one of her favorites. I wondered why she was there bringing me one of her favorite wines on a random afternoon.
“So, what’s up, Mom? Not like you to make sudden visits.”
“Is it not?” She laughed. “Well, then I should fix that. You are my only daughter after all.” She stayed standing on the other side of the counter while she drank. “I just wanted to come by to tell you that I almost landed that buff scientist of yours.”
I nearly dropped the wine glass, and I put it down so slowly, it took ages to reach the counter. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, I went by another time, and I’m just putting my magic to work a bit. He’ll come around. He’s a tough one. How’d you get him to take you out?”
I licked my lips and then bit the bottom one, trying to keep a rein on my anger. “Mom, why are you going around to his office to try to speak to him? Don’t you think that’s strange?”
“No, not at all! What have I always taught you? If you want something, then you go get it! You don’t take no for an answer!” She laughed at me, as if her explanation was so simple and not at all problematic.
“Mom, if someone says ‘no’ to you about their interest in you or about you ‘stalking’ them, then you need to believe them! You can’t just always do what you want.”
“Cassandra Williams, how dare you speak to me like that?” she said, her cheeks flushing with anger.
The grip on her wineglass tightened as she glared at me.
“Is Brad telling you to go? Why aren’t you listening to him, then?” I crossed my arms, daring her to come up with a good reason.
Her lips pursed, and the skin tightened around her eyes. “Because no one says no to me, Cassie, and you know that. But I suppose you’ve heard that enough, haven’t you? That’s what happened with you and Jason.”
I felt the ache of tears again. “Mom, I don’t know what you think you’re doing. We are mother and daughter, not competition for the same men. If you want Brad, and he wants you, then he’s yours.”
“Yes, he is,” she said, turning to go, grabbing her purse on the way. “You’d better stop trying to tell me what to do, Cassie, and look at your own life,” she said, stomping out the door and slamming it behind her.
Groaning, I laid my head on the table, glad she’d left but not glad she’d revealed more to me than I wished to know. The weekend passed by slowly in a haze of horror movies and laying around. Jane and Sadie were busy with their own new lives, and there I was, still stuck in the same place.
When Monday came, I felt kind of numb. I hadn’t made any effort to call Brad, and I noticed he had stopped calling me too. Maybe it was for the best. He and my mom could live happily ever after for at least a year, and then it would be over, and he would just be my boss again. In a sort of daze, I drove into work, got my stuff, and headed right into the lab. I didn’t even think about Brad’s office or whether or not he’d see me.
I just wanted to go back to my old life, the one where I had fun and didn’t get hurt. At lunch, Stevie and I went to our usual café, and I asked her about her date over the weekend, and she obliged me by chatting away, distracting me fully. On our way back, I put my hand on hers when I saw Jason’s car in the parking lot.
