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I guess I should expect it really. It’s been the same way since the first night we met. It wasn’t just my body he got inside that night. It was my head too.
If only he would leave as fast as he entered.
Eventually, school comes to an end and Toby, Seb, Alex and Theo appear to check in on me.
I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t hang around long, favouring hiding in the luxury that is Toby’s guest room. This one room is bigger and fancier than my entire flat. But as nice as it is, I long for my own space. Peace to allow myself to try and process what happened Friday, and to figure out a way forward.
I figure I’ll give myself today to mope, then tomorrow, I need to pull up my big girl knickers and figure out a way to get back on with life.
Just because I’ve spent the weekend in the hospital, it doesn’t mean that the world has stopped. I still have a school placement and my final assignment to worry about—assuming what happened last week hasn’t come to light, and I’ve been thrown out of both Knight’s Ridge and my course.
“The boss practically owns Knight’s Ridge. He’d never let Middleton kick you out for something as trivial as fucking Nico in the library.”Alex’s words from the other day come back to me, and all I can do is hope they’re true.
Just a few weeks and then the next chapter can start.
11
NICO
Despite knowing that the guys are back from school, no one knocks on my door or even pisses me off by letting themselves in.
It hurts. But I get it.
They were all with Brianna in Toby’s flat, I have no doubt.
And they should be. She deserves all their attention and support right now.
Despite still being exhausted and emotionally and mentally drained after the past few days, I barely got any sleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, I could see Brianna’s defiant ‘don’t fuck with me’ expression before she walked away from me. It’s literally haunting me. And knowing she’s so close and easily accessible is the worst kind of torture.
I have full access to every single flat, cell, and torture chamber in this building. I could easily slip into Toby’s place and into his guest room without anyone knowing.
I wouldn’t even need to wake Brianna. I could just sit and watch her sleep like I did in the hospital.
“Jesus,” I mutter, scrubbing my hand down my face.
I’m so fucked.
If I thought I was losing my mind when it came to this woman before, it has nothing on what’s going on in my head now.
My need to see her, to know she’s okay, to fucking apologise again and to beg forgiveness is growing more and more out of control. They’re things I’ve never even considered doing before now.
I’m still lying there God knows how long later, being a pathetic arsehole, when my buzzer goes off.
My heart jumps into my throat. My first thought is that it could be her on the other side of my door. It’s a pointless fantasy but one I cling onto for a few seconds before Jocelyn’s note from yesterday comes back to me.
“Shit,” I hiss.
If anyone had left me instructions like that, I’d ignore them. But this is Jocelyn, and I can’t.
I drag on a pair of sweats and pull a clean t-shirt from my drawer. I’m still wrestling my arms into it when I get to the front door, and I pull it open without checking the peephole.
“Uh…” I stutter when I find an attractive young woman standing before me, wearing what is obviously a very expensive suit and carrying two takeout coffees.
“I understand that yours is a cappuccino with an extra shot and one sugar,” she says matter-of-factly before brazenly striding into my flat without an invitation.
“Uh…” I say again like an idiot as I close the door behind her and follow her down into my living room.
