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I blow out a breath as I stare up at the stark white ceiling above me.
I want to go home. I want to restart my life, but every time I mention leaving, Jodie gets this sad look in her eyes and I buckle.
For the most part, I’ve kept my phone turned off since getting back from the hospital. Everyone important knows where I am, and I’ve been in contact with both my uni tutor and Melissa via email.
Thankfully, both of them just wished me a speedy recovery and said they’re looking forward to my return. I guess that’s something to smile about.
It’s about the only thing.
Whatever is going on with the guys and the Italians is getting serious.
They haven’t said anything around me, and when I’ve asked Jodie, she doesn’t have much more detail either. Whatever is going on is top secret, and to be honest, I’m happy with that.
I have zero desire to dive deeper into Nico’s dangerous world.
At some point, Jodie knocks on the door to deliver me a hot chocolate before she heads to bed with Toby.
I say all the right things, but I don’t really feel it. I’m shutting down, and the longer I keep myself locked inside this room, it’s getting worse.
She can see it too, but her concern over me being alone is overriding it.
I’ve told her that I’ll stay until Sunday, but then I’m returning to my life and my job.
I’ve already lost more time at school than I want to; I refuse to miss any more and risk not completing my training.
Grabbing my laptop from the end of the bed, I pull up the job hunting I started earlier.
I’ve earmarked a few teaching jobs that caught my attention. Now, I need to figure out if I’m actually brave enough to apply for any.
I study each school’s website until my eyes burn.
The rest of the flat is in silence. I know that Jodie and Toby are being courteous because they have a guest, and I hate that they’re putting a stop on their usual wild sexploits so I don’t have to endure it. I’m grateful, though. There’s no better way to really nail home how little action you’re getting than listening to your best friend get railed across the hall.
My phone taunts me on the bedside table when I lean over to turn the light off.
I hesitate, questioning myself over whether I should turn it on or not.
Would he have even bothered to message?
He sure hasn’t tried to force his way in here to see me, so I don’t know why he would.
In the end, my curiosity gets the better of me, and I reach for it, powering it up.
The second it connects to Toby’s WiFi, messages and notifications begin popping up.
But there isn’t a single one from Nico.
Unfortunately, most of them are from Brad and his guilty conscience.
“Get a grip, Brianna. He doesn’t care,” I hiss at myself, hoping that hearing the words will stop me from obsessing over him.
It’s been three days since I laid eyes on him. I should be relieved.
I swipe at my screen angrily to turn my phone back off again, irritated that I lowered myself to that level in my need to hear from him.
You are a strong and independent woman, Brianna Andrews. You do not need validation from Nico or any other man.
I know that. I do. But I also just want to check in on him.
