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“Fucking hell,” I mutter, scrubbing my hand down my face and staring out of the window. “I can’t tonight anyway, I’m busy,” I stupidly confess.
“Oh? Hot date I don’t know about?”
“Something like that.”
He glances over, his stare burning into the side of my face as he waits for me to elaborate.
I don’t want to, and I silently chastise myself for saying anything.
“Jocelyn has set me up with her shrink niece.”
“Oh?” Toby asks, his eyes popping open in shock.
Seeking help in the form of therapy or counselling isn’t really the Cirillo way. Generally, we focus on the task at hand and spill enough blood to work through our issues. But apparently, Jocelyn is forcing me to be a rebel and figure this shit out the ‘normal’ way. I get it. I know why she’s doing it. It’s not just for me, but for Brianna too. Because she deserves it. And that is exactly why I’m putting up with it.
“Apparently, I’ve got issues.”
“Dude, you don’t need a shrink to tell you that. I could have done it for free.”
“Funny, prick,” I mutter.
“Seriously, though, I think it’s a good idea. Hell, we could probably all do with a bit of it. We’re all fucked up enough.”
I mumble some kind of agreement. What else can I do? He’s talking the truth.
“So what’s the plan here? Try to sort your head out and then make some big gesture?”
“Who says I have a plan for her?”
“You’re so full of shit. I’m assuming this shrink is going to try and prove to you that you care about her? All this denial isn’t good for your soul, man.”
“Of course I care, dickhead. She’s… Brianna. But that doesn’t—”
“Oh, come off it, bro. You’ve been in love with her since the night she allowed you inside her knickers and we all know it. She has you wrapped so tight around her little finger that she’s never going to release you. And do you know something else?” he quickly adds before I manage to get a word in. “You fucking love it.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t want that. What you guys all have. One woman for the rest of my life. Ugh.” I force myself to physically shudder, but it’s fake. All of it.
The truth is… I think he might just be right.
“Just talk to her. And I mean with real words, Nico. Not late-night promises of pleasure I know you’re so fond of.”
“Arsehole,” I scoff.
But all he does is chuckle in return.
“At least try and talk to her before all this shit kicks off.”
“Have you heard anything?”
“No. But I can’t imagine they’ll sit on this intel for long. I’d put money on it being this weekend.”
“Same,” I agree.
“You need to be ready, Nico. What time is your shrink coming? We should hit the gym.”
* * *
Training in the gym with Toby and then the session with Jade are about as tortuous and painful as each other. By the time Jade lets herself out of my flat later that night, I’m both emotionally and physically spent.
