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“We could get shots?” Valentina offered, but I shook my head.
“You two go for it,” I told them with regret. “I open the shop tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk you home,” Emiliano offered, holding out his arm. I threaded mine through his and let him walk me down the block to my apartment.
I was leaving the bar more sober than I’d intended, but I knew this was the right choice. I’d lived through shots with Valentina once, and it didnotfeel good the next morning.
“Sorry I ghosted you guys. I just… have reasons,” I admitted, trying to explain some of what was going on in my head. He was too nice not to give him some sort of explanation—even if it was a lame one.
“Like I said, we’re all complicated, Hazel. We’ll figure it out,” he promised. “There doesn’t have to be strings attached, just a few fun dates. You know the rules; the final decision is up to you, and we’ll honor it.”
That reassurance actually did help soothe my nerves. My intended pack wouldn’t have cared if I said no. Omegas didn’t get to say no in the Humble Creed. Alphas were on top, betas worked hard to support the pack, and omegas were submissive property, there for the sole purpose of breeding and satisfying their pack. As I grew up, I never understood how anyone could live like that, but then again, most of the omegas had no choice.
But I did. I’d chosen me. I had run, never looking back. Sure, I stayed vigilante and kept my face off any and all social media, but I was fucking free.
“A lot on your mind?” Emiliano asked as we made it to the front of my building. I turned to him instead of reaching for the door.
“Always.” I shrugged. “I just hide it well most of the time. But I’m okay. When is this little date of ours?”
“Oh, it won’t be little.” He grinned, excitement bright in his eyes. “But I’ll have to talk to Alessandro and figure out where we want to take you. Can’t let my brother and his pack upstage us, after all.”
“Of course,” I laughed. “As long as there’s food involved, I’m game.”
“We can make that happen,” he promised. “I can’t wait. I’ll text you as soon as I have details, alright?”
“Okay,” I said, grinning as my own excitement grew despite myself. Being this close and breathing in his intoxicating scent was addicting. I didn’t want to turn around and walk away. I wanted to give in to my instincts and get closer… but I let my mind win this time. “I should probably go up. Early shift.”
“Okay,” he said quietly. My breath caught as he stepped into my personal space and brushed his lips over mine. It started off sweet and soft, but when he came back for more, it was the opposite. His kiss became demanding and hungry, full of a lustful promise for more when I was ready. And dammit, I wanted to give in. But he respected me by slowing down and stepping away. His hands shot out to steady me when my feet wobbled, and I laughed nervously.
“Goodnight, Emiliano.” He chuckled at my kiss-drunk walk when I finally made a move for the door.
“Goodnight, Hazel.”
When I got upstairs, I pulled out my phone and texted Eliza. I hadn’t remembered to say goodbye in my shock, and I knew she’d flip out if I gave no explanation to my whereabouts.
As I stripped out of my clothes and went to get in the shower, I glanced in the mirror. My blonde roots were threatening to take over. Sighing, I changed plans, throwing on an oversized tee I used just for this and grabbing a box of black dye. I had a surplus of them for these moments. Just the sight of the light roots had my stomach churning. I wasn’t that girl anymore, and I never would be again.
As I prepared the bottles and started sectioning off my hair, my mind got stuck on the beta who’d convinced me to give them a try. I hated myself for putting them through that, but it was so hard to give in. I’d lived and survived on my own, keeping a low profile. The idea of tying myself to them felt wrong, especially since I was ‘engaged’ in the eyes of THC, but that horrible pack didn’t deserve me.
My mind drifted to our first meeting. I had been wholly unprepared. It was a month before my eighteenth birthday. I’d just graduated high school and was preparing for my escape when I got called down to dinner. Instead of finding my parents at the table, I came down to another pack. By pack standards, they were small, only an alpha and two betas. They were well dressed and well behaved for my parents. The moment I met the alpha, I recognized him. Elias Pierce was known for being a bit eccentric, one of those types who went into everything with his full enthusiasm. He’d just graduated from college and was several years older, with a chemistry degree under his belt. For my family, it would be marrying up, meaning my father would get undeserved status at my expense.
When they informed me that I would become theirs on my eighteenth birthday, I panicked. All three men looked at me with hunger and possessiveness in their eyes. They appeared harmless, but every fucking instinct in my body was screaming that I’d be doomed if they got me.
So I left—not when I turned eighteen but before. I decided that I deserved to be in charge of my life, not them. Which was why I couldn’t let my guard down. I couldn’t afford distractions like this.
Trauma had a way of digging its claws deep enough that even when you did get free, the wound remained, painful despite its healing. The sharp gash would eventually disappear, but a scar always stayed behind as a reminder. I’d never fully forget the horrors I’d seen and lived through with the THC, and if I truly escaped, it would be a miracle.
You’re free.
But am I?
The back and forth wouldn’t stop, and I was ready to scream. Teagan was still gone, and Sienna and Eliza were at work, so I had no one to talk this out with, to ground me. With my freshly dyed and washed hair in a towel, I went into the kitchen and pulled out my cannabutter and brownie mix. I knew it was the only way to stop this war within myself.
Emiliano:Alessandro and I claim first date. How does Wednesday evening sound?
Hazel:I’m off on Wednesday, so I can make that happen.
Alessandro:Okay, so two choices, gorgeous. One is low key and intimate. The other is an… adventure. Which do you choose?
