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“Yeah, I would’ve brought a gun, but I’ve always thought a blade is a hell of a lot scarier,” his tone is mocking. “Don’t you?”
“Please, Robert –”
“I’ve told you all along that you’re mine, Emily. Mine and nobody else’s,” he hisses. “I’ve told you that, haven’t I?”
My eyes are still on the blade. All I can do is nod. Robert’s face darkens and he looks at me more intently.
“Sorry, I can’t hear you,” he grumbles. “I’ve told you that, haven’t I?”
“Y – yes.”
“Then why do you insist on fucking around with – that guy. Your boss,” he snaps. “Why are you still seeing him when I told you not to.”
Robert twists the knife around in his hand, making the light flicker upon the steel. My fear rises like a malevolent tide. I can’t stop looking at the damn thing. In all the time he beat on me and threatened my life, he never once used a weapon to intimidate me. The fact that he’s using one now, the implicit threat being that he’ll murder me, shows me just how far things have escalated in his mind. And it shows me just how deep the shit I’m in really is.
“Robert, please don’t do this. Let’s just calm down –”
“Oh, I’m perfectly calm, Emily,” he replies. “I’ve come to some decisions in my own head and I just thought we should talk about them.”
I choke down the bile in my throat and fight off the hands of fear that are clawing at me, threatening to pull me under. I’m stronger now than I was back then – back when Robert terrorized me and beat me into submission. I’m a much stronger woman now and I don’t feel like the helpless weakling I used to be.
It’s a mantra I keep silently repeating to myself over and over again, because I know if I falter and give in to my fear, I’m going to die here tonight. My survival depends on me being strong and using my head. I just hope I can pull it off.
“Okay, let’s talk. What decisions have you come to, Robert?”
“I’ve decided that the time has come for you to make a choice,” he tells me. “You’re going to drop the restraining orders and we will be together. Or you’re going to die. It’s that simple. It’s one or the other, Emily.”
“Robert, I –”
“One or the other, Emily. There is no third option here,” he growls. “If I can’t have you, I sure as hell ain’t letting anybody else have you.”
I somehow knew he would to say that. I knew he’d demand that I be with him again. What I didn’t count on was his willingness to kill me if he didn’t get what he wanted. Robert’s game has always been about power and control – about him having it and taking it away from me. And I guess he feels that having the power over my life or death is the ultimate form of control.
As my mind races to find a way out of this situation, I know I need to be smart. It’s not just my life hanging in the balance, but that of my child as well. Anything I do is going to affect the baby in a very real way. Which means I can’t afford to gamble or be reckless. My child should not be made to suffer – or die – for my mistakes.
As I think about my baby, an idea occurs to me. Robert’s never wanted children. He hates kids. He absolutely loathes them. Perhaps knowing I’m going to have one will deter him. Maybe he’ll be so turned off by the idea of having a child in the mix with us, that he’ll give it up and walk away. It’s a faint spark of hope, but given my circumstances, it’s better than nothing.
“Robert, I’m having a baby,” I admit, placing my hands over my stomach protectively.
He looks at me for a long moment, that greasy smirk that’s been on his face slipping away. The corners of his mouth turn down into a scowl and I see an angry red creeping into his sallow flesh.
“I knew you fucked him,” Robert shouts. “What I didn’t expect was that you were gonna get yourself knocked up to take his money. That’s smart planning right there, baby.”
“I’m not taking his money.”
Robert chuckles. “Then you’re not just a whore, you’re a stupid whore,” he snaps. “I ain’t havin’ a kid around, though. We’ll just drop it off at a fire station or something.”
“Robert, I’m keeping this baby,” I shoot back at him. “And I’m not going anywhere with you.”
That smirk slides back onto his face. “You sure you want to do that, Emily? I told you there were only two choices here.”
I edge closer to the fireplace, doing my best to nonchalantly put myself in position to snatch up the hard iron poker. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s the only one I have. Based on our track record together, he would never expect me to stand up and defend myself – not in a million years. But like I said, I’m not the same woman I am now that I was then. Because of that, because he’ll never see it coming, I know I can get the drop on him.
“You need to leave, Robert,” I tell him firmly. “You need to get the hell out of here right now before I call the police.”
He looks at me for a long moment, pure malevolence flaring in his eyes. “Look at you, Emily. All grown up now. Sounds like you grew yourself a pair of balls, huh?” he comments. “I guess that rich boyfriend of yours puttin’ it to you has given you some thought that you’re better than you are? Made you think you’re tougher than you are? You forget that I know you. I know just how fucking weak and scared you are.”
Yeah, that’s it. Keep underestimating me, asshole. I’m about to show you how weak and scared I am. I’m about to show you the new and improved version of me.
