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Men bang their plates on the tables in agreement.
“That’s not what I mean,” I say. “You,” I point at a British soldier, one of the men I saw through my window. “What do you think of Scotsmen?” The soldier casts his eyes down and murmurs something unintelligible. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you?”
“I think they bugger sheep and are but half a man,” he says, boldly raising his eyes and his voice.
“I’ll bugger you like a damned sheep,” the same Scot who spoke up says, drawing a dagger.
“Hold,” I say. I have no idea what I’m doing or even what I’m going to say before it comes out of my mouth, but I have their attention and even the dagger wielder stops to listen. “This is what I’m talking about. If we’re busy fighting each other, we don’t stand a chance.”
“Aye, lass isn’t wrong,” someone says and there is the chatter of men agreeing.
“That out there,” I point back in what I hope is the direction of Inverness. “That is the devil’s work. That is the result of hate and destruction. Is that what you want?”
“No!” a dozen or more voices rise as one.
“Good. Change, it starts with us, and we must change, now.”
“But how do we fight?”
“I’ll be honest with you,” I say. “I don’t know. Not yet.” My heart hammers as I realize what I have to do. A cold sweat forms on my chest and back, but this is the way forward. It’s time I own who and what I am. “But I tell you this. I am Fae-touched.” The silence that meets my proclamation is so deep it’s disturbing. Every eye is on me and I don’t know if they believe me, hate me, or want to support me. “The Fae Queen herself has named me to be the Destroyer and I am on your side. I will fight with you, but it’s going to take all of us. As one!”
The men cheer so loud that dust falls from the ceiling. They pound the already crumbling tables and bang their dishes. More men come in from outside and join in, whether they know why or not.
“Thank you,” Gair whispers, leaning in close.
Fixing on a smile I nod and watch as they cheer and pat one another on the back. I’ve inspired hope where there was none. Now if I only felt some hint of it myself. I’m not blind; the old grudges aren’t magically washed away, but I’ve bought time. Hopefully enough to figure out what to do next.
As I step down off the chair, I notice Chief Johnne in the doorway and at his side is the British commander. Johnne gives me a smile and a nod that causes me to flush. I would never, in all my wildest dreams, have imagined myself in this position. Yet here I am.
I’m acutely aware that everyone in the room is watching me. Not openly, only glances or moving to keep me in the peripheral vision. They’re depending on me, looking for answers that I don’t have either. The weight of it pushes in, creating an entirely new level of pressure.
I thought I knew stress before. College, tests, finals, bills, friends, and the constant call in the modern world to give in and vegetate in front of the television, binge watching the latest popular series. I didn’t have a clue what real stress was. Or how to deal with it when there is no escape because no matter how much pressure there was in my old world, it was never life or death.
The stakes here are so much higher and every decision I make, as I’ve been constantly told, could mean the fate of the world. I didn’t get that or really believe it, not on a fundamental level, but now… now there is no denying it. This is the world my decisions created. The darkness unleashed, magic tainted and all but unusable, and the worlds of both the Fae and Humanity are being destroyed.
And it’s all my fault. I have two choices. I can sit around feeling sorry for myself, or I can figure out how to fix it. But how to fix it, that’s an entire ball of wax of its own.
“Gair, I need time to think,” I say. “Can you help make sure I’m not bothered?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He nods enthusiastically. I squeeze his shoulder. He smiles and his eyes gleam with delight. “You should go upstairs, though. That’s a safe space; I can keep the men away.”
Grateful, I follow him to escape the constant pressure of the men’s expectant eyes on me.
ChapterFive
Gair leadsthe way around the edge of the room and back to the stairs. I slip up them and away from the watching eyes. When I enter the hallway, out of sight of those below, I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I rub my face and roll my shoulders, working out knots the best I can.
The hall smells musty, with a touch of mold. The stone walls are damp, and the wood of the floor mushes under my weight. I walk down the hall, imagining how this place must have looked in its prime. This part of the castle is the newest but if my math is right, it’s still over a hundred years old.
A hundred years, I chuckle. Growing up in America that seems ancient, but in the United Kingdom and Europe it’s practically brand-new. Such a difference of viewpoint. Duncan wouldn’t be impressed, though. No, he’d prefer to be in the Highlands where he feels at home. This isn’t his kind of place. He’s not a man who puts on airs which I love him for. Simple, honorable, everything a girl could want.
I walk down the hall, letting my thoughts wander and hoping that something will occur to me. Some bright idea that is the answer to all my problems. How do you stop darkness? More light, of course. How do I get more light? Darkness comes with every setting of the sun. It’s impossible.
I poke my head into each room I pass, glancing at the rot and the debris. Most of the furniture has been broken for firewood and many of the rooms have soot stains on the ceiling and walls. At the end of the hall is another set of stairs leading up, which I take. The steps are carved of stone which is good. I don’t think I’d trust a wooden staircase in this place. Too risky with the amount of rot evident.
The next floor isn’t much different than the one before. Hallways lined with mostly broken doors. I continue exploring less out of curiosity and more to avoid confronting my own lack of ideas.
At the end of the hall is a closed set of double doors that, remarkably, are still intact. When I press to open them, they’re latched, but stranger still, they’re warm. Not hot, like a fire is on the other side, but warm as if there is life in the room beyond. It takes me a moment to figure out the latching system but once I do they slide silently open, and I gasp.
