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“What won’t work?” Duncan asks, as confused as I am.
“I can cast the spell,” Mom says. “You don’t have to be the one, Quinn. I’ll do it. You three need to get out of here and let me do this.”
“Mom, I don’t think it will work either,” I say.
The look on her face cuts into my heart. Her glistening eyes, the way she clutches the book tight to her chest, her set lips all tell of her determination.
“Let me do this, Quinn,” she says softly. “Let me save you.”
My stomach clenches and I want to give her this. I want to but I know it won’t work. If remembering my former lives has taught me anything it’s that fate will not be denied. We have choice in all our lives, but once we are on a path, we have to play out the effects of our choices.
“I love you, Mom, but it’s not a choice and you know it.”
She closes her eyes and suppresses a sob.
“Quinn.” She exhales my name then opens her eyes. “You’ve grown so much.”
I smile and nod, holding my hands out. She looks down at the book, then back up. Her reluctance is clear but so is her understanding. She knows I’m right. The howling wind grows louder, and the sway of the tower becomes more obvious. Something is happening outside.
Slowly, as if she’s fighting to make it happen, she pushes the book away from her chest. As it moves between us that now familiar sense of standing at a crossroads of choice blossoms. This is a defining moment.
My fingers close on the book. The book is cold to my touch, then the world blasts and there is nothing but pain.
ChapterTwenty-Five
Every fiberof my body feels like it’s on fire. I’m being immolated by invisible flames and the source is the book. Images burn into the retinas of my eyes. Impossible images. Worlds spin away, universes collide, collapsing into each other, and everything comes to an end.
It sweeps through and carries me along with it. An inferno of destruction and endings. All life, from the simplest bacteria to the complexity of humanity coming to its finale. Not one universe, but hundred. No millions. It’s all happened before, and once one ends it starts again and the cycle repeats.
Duncan and I living again and again is a microcosm of the cycles of the universes. It’s tearing me apart, not physically, but on a spiritual level. What I thought I knew is nothing in the face of this new understanding. I know I’m screaming, but that too is an awareness, not a sensation. I’m outside, looking in and experiencing the destruction firsthand.
I’m spinning. Lost. Ripped apart with each new universe that comes and goes. Then something clasps onto me. Something solid.
“Ach, Quinn, stay with me, lass,” Duncan says.
He’s solid. He’s real. He’s the here and the now that I’m supposed to be inside of. He is an anchor. My port, calling me home. A lighthouse, and as soon as I realize it, he is a light. A light that is pulling me back. I jerk into awareness and the first thing I see is Duncan’s eyes. Then his lips.
And I kiss him.
I throw my arms around his neck, barely holding onto the heavy book, and let him sweep me into his arms. His kiss soothes my pains, a sweet balm for my soul. His musky smell with hints of heather and burning peat fills my nose as we kiss. The empty, burning sensation inside eases as his hands move up and down my back and I wish we had nothing but time. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want the world, I want him. I need him.
“Quinn,” Mom says, touching my shoulder.
Remembering my mom is watching this public display of affection causes my cheeks to burn and I jerk back, breaking the kiss. The knowing smile on her face only makes me flush hotter. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve and I can’t meet her gaze. This is awkward.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “That was… rough.”
“I should have warned you,” Mom says. “Are you okay?”
“Can we go now?” Dugald interrupts.
“Wait,” I say, motioning for a pause. “The sword. We’re supposed to find the first sword too. Do you know where it is, Mom?”
“The first sword?” she frowns. “No, I haven’t seen a sword.”
“Damn,” I mutter. “Where could it be?”
“Ach, Quinn, I do nae know about any sword, but I do think we’d best be on our way,” Duncan says.
