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I’d slaughtered a man. Even if he deserved it, I took his life. He wasn’t a demon from Helheim who was trying to kill me, he was a human.
“He’s dead.” My words filled the space, but I couldn’t understand their answers as I blacked out again, this time not fighting it as I slipped into unconsciousness.
ChapterFifteen
Harlow
Tuesday Morning
Drake’s Room
Nightmares of Vane plagued my sleep. More than once I heard Drake’s voice calming me until I slipped into another round of nightmares.
Voices eventually pulled me from sleep, and I sighed in relief as I opened my eyes to Hiro and Drake cuddling next to me.
“That was the worst sleep of my life,” I muttered as I forced myself to sit up. Hiro snorted humorlessly.
“Same,” he muttered. “We fucking wrecked Vane.”
“Ivar described it as a massacre,” Drake proclaimed. “You took back the power, that’s huge.”
“And gross,” I muttered. Looking down I expected my body to be covered in blood, but I was wearing only a large tee that smelled like Drake’s cologne, and I was clean. “Where’s the blood?”
“I got you both cleaned up with Ivar’s help,” Drake said. “You looked like a crime scene.”
“How do you feel, Hiro?” I asked. He looked at me and his eyes shadowed. There was a hint of embarrassment and shame there, like he didn’t want me to know he froze. We didn’t get to choose our trauma or how we reacted to it. I’d never fault him for that.
“I remembered Hiro dying. I don’t know how I got that memory since it isn’t mine, but I saw it happen. It was—” A sob escaped as Drake and I moved in around him.
“You don’t have to—” I tried to reassure him.
“No, I do,” he stated, swiping angrily at his tears. His emerald eyes held so much heartbreak I wanted to kill everyone who’d ever hurt him. Hiro and Roman both deserved better. “It’s the only way I can heal.”
“Okay, we’re here,” Drake promised.
“My family was abusive. Well, Roman’s, I guess,” he said with a grimace.
“Yours too. That trauma and those memories are real, you are real, Hiro,” I said before he could let that get too far into his mind.
He nodded. “You’re right.” He almost looked relieved to hear it. “I’m almost afraid if the trauma gets better, if we talk about it, that I’ll disappear.”
I shook my head. “Your trauma doesn’t just go away when you talk about it. It may get easier to handle, but there will always be triggers or moments that bring it right back. You’re a part of Roman and all of us.” It was not something we could truly promise Hiro and he knew it, but us wanting to believe it had to be enough.
“God, it feels so good to hear that,” he admits. “I’ve been dwelling on this shit from the moment I found out.”
“Talk to us when that happens,” Drake growls. Hiro looks up at him and smirks.
“Yes, Daddy,” he teases, earning a glare. But then his face fell and he let out a shaky breath. “You guys almost make me feel normal sometimes. I never thought we’d find someone or multiple people who give a shit about us, much less to be in a relationship with.”
“We all thought that. This is why we’re fighting so hard to take back Dark Haven,” I said. “We deserve to have this.” I gestured between the three of us, and Drake nodded, though he didn’t add more.
We fell into silence while Hiro found his thoughts again. My fingers trailed over his arm, hoping it would help soothe him and ground him while he relived the awful memories that have held them captive for far too long.
Hiro gripped onto our hands as he started. “My mom and dad both hated us. I found out later it was because she cheated on him. But she just saw us as something to blame her troubles on when the truth came out. It started with words. I can still hear her shrill voice telling us how we ruined her life, and dad’s angry yells calling us bastards. Then the physical shit started. A fist, a belt, a beer bottle, whatever he could reach. She’d just sit back and watch, a smug smile on her face as if we were getting what we deserved.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, squeezing him back. He nodded but didn’t let it stop him even as tears spilled from his eyes.
“Our family knew and they did nothing. No one saved us. At least not until Roman... wait, Hiro died. I don’t know if I’m remembering this part as well because it’s a bit foggy. But our dad picked up a golf club this time. Roman took the first hits, then me, then him. I guess it was Hiro that died, though we were both near death.”
