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Drake shook his head. “Crew’s right. You had nothing to do with this. Hel chose your room early on, it was supposedly destined that you’d come here. I’d bet my movie collection she pulled some strings to bring you here. Either way, this isn’t on you.”
“I know you’re right, but it doesn’t help me feel any less guilty. I’m still at the center of this and because you’re close to me, so are you. I have no clue how to stop it, but apparently I should figure it out. While I work toward an impossible goal, every city and town around us suffers. Have you seen the fucking news lately? Everything is falling apart and I’m up here having pizza nights,” I ranted.
“Stop being a baby,” Layne told me playfully. She was trying to stop the tension from growing even stronger and it worked. I let out a maniacal laugh. “There’s nothing you can fucking do, and we will help when and where we can. I’d rather be here with you guys than out in the real world. Even now.”
“Thanks Layne,” I said, giving her a quick hug before shaking out my arms and taking a few measured breaths in hopes I’d get my shit together.
“Can we just get back to work and get your mom down here?” I asked, turning to Drake, pleading with my eyes for him to listen. Sitting here for another moment, doing nothing, would have me dwelling on the fact I was giving nothing to this fucking war. I’d barely seen Kol and Monty since things blew up, and I wanted my fucking men and my life back.
“Why don’t you go down to the courtyard and tell Kol what happened first,” Drake said. “We’ll wait until you get back to go anywhere.”
The gargoyles were using every moment of the day to fight back the demons and needed to know. Even Stravos had gone back to his ranks since the floor was warded and we were supposedly safe.
Drake opened the elevator again and stepped inside. I followed and the doors closed behind us, leaving Roman with the others.
He wasn’t one for words or false assurances and I appreciated that about him. We rode down to the first floor in silence and he followed me all the way to the courtyard. When the doors closed behind us, he let out a shrill whistle. A gargoyle dropped to his feet in front of me. I’d seen him before but only knew a few of their names.
“Can you please get Kol for me, it’s important,” I asked. He nodded once before taking off again, flying up to the roof and disappearing. Kol must have been nearby because he was dropping to the ground in mere seconds.
He swept me into his arms, and I let out a startled laugh. Having his strong arms squeezing me gently was enough to melt away some of the guilt and self-doubt creeping in. He wasn’t one for affection or emotions. Kol was closed off and hard to read but we were slowly blending into something that made sense. He was hard to my soft, harsh to my gentle, and it worked in its own strange way.
“You came to me?” he asked. His expression was a mix of shock and happiness. It was almost as if he were touched by the gesture.
I nodded when I couldn’t find the right words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bug you, and I know you guys already have enough on your plate. But another body showed up in the elevator when we tried to head out. It resembled Hiro,” I explained in a rush.
“The little human?” he clarified.
“Yes.” I laughed. “The little human.” He didn’t like the other guys at first, but it was as if he had a soft spot for Hiro. Then again, Hiro made you want to wrap him in a blanket and protect him from the world.
My hand rested on his cheek, and I could see how exhausted he was. Even for a supernatural being there had to be a breaking limit and he was swiftly approaching it. They’ve been fighting nonstop. Demons were coming out of the portal at insane rates. It was so frustrating, especially when Hel sat by and let it happen.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“She’s feeling guilty, like this is all on her,” Drake said before I could sugarcoat it. Kol let out a small growl but it was more frustration than anger. In a moment, I was swept into the air with Kol. He dropped down on the roof again, and when he set me down, his hands went to my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.
“I’m working so hard to protect you because you’re my mate. I’m sworn to keep the demons at bay, to protect Dark Haven, but it’s more important for me to know that you’re safe. I’d lay down my life for you,” he promised vehemently. It was the most emotion I’d seen from him yet.
“I know, that’s the problem. I feel like I barely know you, Kol. You call me your mate but you don’t even know me,” I countered. “And I know that sounds selfish with everything going on but I just hate it.”
I’d reached my breaking point, tears filling my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. Kol looked startled at the sight. I let out a watery laugh.
“Look. I’m not good with words,” he started. “But I don’t want you to cry. I have no problem watching this place. Do I love that you are never with me? No. But it makes me appreciate the other humans and demons you’re with. I never thought I’d say that but even Ivar has shown his worth. You’ve somehow bridged two enemies. It may be a wobbly one but we’re trying for you, Harlow. Whatever Hel has planned and is desperately trying to put into motion down here? You may be at the center of it but you’re not thecauseof it.”
I let out a small sniffle and looked up at him. “I thought you said you weren’t good with words.”
He let out a rumbling chuckle I felt through my chest. It made me think of the mate bond he had mentioned and his effect on me. And I desperately needed a subject change.
“Can I ask you a strange question?” I asked. My filter was gone, and I couldn’t keep it from tumbling out even though I knew this was not the right time.
Kol nodded, his gray eyes focused on me as if nothing else existed. “Of course. You can ask me anything.”
“What does being your mate mean? Just that you chose me?”
“I chose you, yes,” he said carefully. I could tell he was watching his words, trying to make sure he didn’t fuck this up. I appreciated that he was putting in the effort. He was so out of touch with humans he could seem cold sometimes, almost brutal in his delivery. This was new territory for him. “It’s more than that, though. Fate chose us to be together. You were destined for whatever this is. We may all be in the dark but Hel is not. This was all foretold. You were given to me, Ivar, your humans, and the halfling for a reason.”
“If they’d just fucking tell me what that reason is!” I growled. “I’m so fucking tired of being kept out of this.”
“Maybe it’s not just for you to find,” he stated. “Our connection will be different than others. We were chosen by fate and can’t just walk away or break this easily. It will strengthen as we learn more about each other, as we grow closer, or it can snap if we get careless. But I have a feeling it will make you stronger than any human. Even if we don’t have the answers, you’ll still rise to the occasion. I have confidence in you.”
