AllFreeNovel
Share Us
JUNE
Just when I think Coen can’t surprise me anymore tonight, he guides me onto the rooftop of Jovi’s pizza shop where a blanket and more candles are set up. Glistening string lights are strung about, and a soft melody flows through the nighttime air.
“This is beautiful,” I tell him while clutching his hand.
We used to sneak up here when we were kids. Giggling and shushing each other as we climbed the ladder in hopes that we wouldn’t get caught for trespassing. Part of me wonders if Jovi knew all along and just looked the other way. A small gesture since we didn’t have much. We were never the type to destroy anything, always leaving things the way we found them—except for when we would break in and steal ice cream from the shop down the way. That’s another story entirely, though.
Here we are, ten years later, a million things changed but one constant remains—our love for one another.
I held so much resentment and anger, letting it bubble and fester into every aspect of my life, when in reality, Coen had suffered more torment than I had. Sure, I had to deal with my own fatherly shit, but that’s nothing compared to what Coen went through. To learn the truth about his mother’s deathandwitness his dad be murdered? That’s enough to drive someone to the lengths he took. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the exact thing, given the opportunity.
Coen did what he thought he had to do, and what kind of person would I be if I blamed him for that?
I just wish he could have found some way to tell me, to come to me sooner. But I blame myself for him feeling that he couldn’t trust me with this information. That I wouldn’t have done everything in my power to protect him the same way he did for me. We could have figured it out together, just like we had done with everything else. But at the end of the day, it’s not some pizza challenge. It’s life and death.
“Here.” Co takes my hand and guides me over to the blanket. He sits next to me and grabs the bottle of bourbon that was already up here. “You want a drink?”
I slide my heels off and pull my feet up toward my butt, turning toward him. “Sure.”
He pours a couple fingers' worth into a glass and gives it to me.
“This is no Dixie cup.” I smirk and take a long swallow of the golden liquid. “And it sure beats that cheap shit we used to drink.”
“I’m sorry about all of our lost time, J. I think about it and it kills me. I wish we could go back to that day and start over again. I would never get in that truck with him, I would have insisted I stay. We could have figured it out.” He latches onto the glass in my hand and downs the rest of its contents, then pours some more in.
“You realize we were kids, right, Co? I know you’re a few years older than me, but you can’t blame yourself for what happened. For any of it, really.” I sigh and lean back. “There are countless things I regret doing in my life, but no matter how much I beat myself up about them, it won’t change what’s already happened.” I reach out and skim my finger along his brow. “You give the past too much power when you do that.”
I snatch the cup from his grasp and drink some of it. The same thing I did when we were kids too young to be drinking in the first place.
“Is this too weird? Being here?” Coen snatches it back from me.
I sigh and relax backwards on the blanket, looking up into the night sky. "Not one bit." Okay maybe a little, but not in a bad way. I've missed these moments with him, and until recently, I had suppressed them in hopes that they wouldn't continue to break my heart every time I remembered them. But now that I have him back, the real Coen, not some figment of my imagination, I don’t ever want it to end.
I tug on his shoulder and get him to lie down with me, both of us staring up at the same stars, a reality that I had wished for a million times over in all the years apart. Even when I hated him the most, I still longed for him. I had hoped that fate would bring us back together but I never imagined it would be like this—under these extreme circumstances.
Himandtwo other men.
Am I greedy for not choosing just one of them? I’m not sure I could even if I was forced to. Sure, Coen and I have the most history, but that doesn’t invalidate my intense feelings for MagnusorDominic. It’s three different kinds of love, and I don’t want to be without any of them.
Coen turns toward me and props himself onto his elbow.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” I tease him.
“I missed you, J.” Coen traces my arm with his finger. “More than you’ll ever know.”
“I think I have an idea, Co.” I point to the sky. “There’s the big dipper. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Yeah,” Coen breathes, although he’s still looking at me. He leans down and tilts my face toward him, pressing his lips to mine.
Soft, gentle, with such finesse.
But the second I melt into him, I’m overcome with an insatiable hunger to be closer. I tug him on top of me and immediately reach for the belt around his waist.
He sits back on his heels and watches me. “Are you sure?”
I yank at my dress and pull it up to give him access. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Uh.” Coen glances around. “We’re on a rooftop, J.”
