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Simon pushes a coffee I didn’t realize he had made me across the counter and finishes stirring his.
“Hey, I was supposed to make those,” I tell him.
“You were busy with something more important.”
I bring my mug to my lips and blow on the scorching liquid. I take a cautious sip and look up at the guy watching me intently.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Simon turns away and walks over to the island, leaning against it.
His biceps bulge his black tee and hug his shoulders tightly. I force myself to look anywhere other than him.
“So…” I walk over and nudge him in the side. “After work, how about you and me get into some trouble?”
Simon tilts his head toward me. “Youaretrouble.”
“Ah, come on. You promised.” I hop onto the counter and dangle my legs off the edge. “And if I don’t fuck something up soon, I’m going to lose my mind. Especially after last night.”
“I don’t know what it was, but I’m sure he has a good reason.”
I shake my head. “Don’t want to talk about it. Don’t want to think about it. I just want to do something reckless, and unless you want me to run off and do it alone, here’s your chance to be involved.”
Simon’s whole body goes tense and he stares directly at me, his body towering over mine even though I’m on the counter. “You willnotgo anywhere without me.”
I tilt my head. “Don’t make me.”
Simon inches toward me, his body pressing between my legs. He reaches up and puts his palm under the base of my chin. “You wouldn’t.”
I stare up at him, my heart racing in my chest. “I would and you know it.”
He licks his lips, and I don’t mean to, but I flit my gaze down at them. Plump, full, right there for the taking. Time seems to slow down and gravity threatens to move me closer to this man. I push against the pull and fight the urge to do what my body begs me to do. But I know better, and crossing that line with him would be wrong. Just because my men are pissing me off doesn’t mean I’m allowed to do the unforgivable. I might be a spiteful bitch but there are some lines I won’t cross—and kissing their enemy is one of them. Even though I really fucking want to.
I won’t dare ever admit that out loud though.
My phone buzzes, snapping both Simon and me out of our trance.
He drops my face and takes a step back, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
I hop off the counter. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” I reassure him.Wedidn’t do anything wrong.
I check my notifications.
Cora: We have so much to catch up on. Talk soon, babe. Love you.
Me: Yes, we do. I can’t wait to hear it all. Love you!!
* * *
Simon doesn’t try to hide his stare my entire shift at Bram’s. I feel it pierce through me every second of the six hours and even though we’re forbidden from being anything more than what we already are, I welcome his hungry eyes anyway. He might just want what he can’t have, but still, it’s nice to be wanted for a change. And if we never cross that line, what’s the harm in letting him distract me from the gaping hole in my chest.
Because if I think about it too long, tears well in my eyes and an emptiness consumes me. I have shit to do, I can’t be falling apart because the men who are supposed to be my partners want little to nothing to do with me. I thought getting a chance to spend some time with them would somehow make things better but all it did was remind me that what we have is great, just impossibly out of reach.
Maybe the timing is all wrong. Or maybe some things aren’t meant to last. People come and go in your life to teach you a lesson. To help you learn about yourself. What if that’s all this was? The universe reassuring me that love is out there, but that it’s fleeting and difficult to hold onto. Maybe I haven’t found the person who is willing to fight for my heart the way that I deserve to be fought for. I had hoped it would be Dom and Co and Magnus, but with each passing day, I continue to grow unsure of what any of this means to them.
Coen and I have history—a past that was stripped from us. But what if it was never meant to be? What if our forever was exactly what it was—powerful and temporary? Magnus is the only one who shows genuine remorse for his part in things. He’s distant and allusive but he’s put forth the most effort. I believe that he wants to tell me the truth, but something stronger than his love for me stops him from following through.
“I have a proposition,” Simon tells me as he approaches.
