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“My mom,” I answer, the tears coming back in full force now.
“It’s okay to let it hurt. To feel the loss. But it’s okay to be happy, too. I think Wyatt could make you happy if you let him.”
She gives me a few moments to collect myself, though I’m pretty sure she knows she’s won this one. “Fine. One date. No promises though.”
“That’s my girl!” She yells in excitement. I wince at all of the energy being thrust upon me before I’ve even had coffee.
“Alright, that’s enough squealing and dramatics this morning. This little lady needs caffeine.”
“I always forget how grumpy you are in the morning. Make sure Wyatt knows what he’s getting into before you guys jump into bed togeth—”
“Good talk, BYE!” I say all in a rush before hanging up.
If going on a date with the man has me all in a tizzy, thinking about sleeping with him would definitely send me into a tailspin. The humiliating Devin incident shaped me in so many ways. I haven’t dated since then, and I certainly haven’t slept with anyone. That makes me a twenty-two-year-old virgin.
Not only that, but I haven’t even had a proper orgasm. Oh sure, I’ve tried to get there on my own a few times, but I can never quite reach that peak. If I’m being totally honest, I think it’s because I’m ashamed of my sexuality.
I shut that thought down and grab my phone to text Wyatt. If I linger too long on all of my insecurities, I’ll end up deleting his number instead of agreeing to a date.
Me:Hi Wyatt. Thanks for a fun evening. Sorry I freaked out last night. If you were serious about a date, I can be ready by seven tonight.
I hit send,and then immediately regret every single thing about the text. I drew attention to the fact that I was a spaz and ran away. I let my insecurities bleed out with every stupid word. If this is any indication of how the actual date will go…
Before I get too far lost down that rabbit hole, Wyatt responds to my text.
Wyatt:Of course I was serious about the date, angel. What’s your address? I’ll pick you up at seven.
Me:I’d tell you I’ll meet you there, but I have a feeling you’d just get my address anyway from your new best friend, Casey.
Wyatt:I suppose I should feel bad about using her to get your number, but I had to talk to you again. I’d do anything to get to know you more after what we shared last night. I know you felt it too.
I ignorehis sweet and slightly obsessive words as well as the wave of emotions they evoke inside of me. I like his intensity, his possessiveness. I’m reminded again of the way he already called me “his.” Instead of swooning, I text him my address and toss my phone on the bed so I’m not tempted to grab it and cancel the whole thing. With a shaky breath, I turn towards my closet and finally start getting ready for the day.
* * *
All dayI fought the urge to text Wyatt and cancel, but in the end, I kept thinking about what Casey said. I'll never find the love of my life if I don't put myself out there. And she's totally right, my mom would love all the romance, especially around the holidays. She and dad had a truly amazing and inspiring kind of love, one I always wanted to find myself. When he died in a car accident over ten years ago, my mom knew she would never find another.
Fighting back the tears, I dab at my eyes and swipe on some mascara. I chose to go with light makeup, which is my preferred style. The dark blue wrap dress hugs my breasts and hips in a flattering way and actually makes me look pretty good. I’ve come to terms with my curves with the help of my mom and Casey, but I still battle my insecurities most days.
I complete my date night attire with my favorite pair of boots that reach almost to my knees. I briefly considered the four-inch nude pumps that Casey made me buy, but ultimately decide against them. I’m already not the most graceful person and I don’t want to tempt fate.
Just then, there’s a knock on my door. My heart thuds heavily in my chest and my stomach twists like I’m on a roller coaster. I wipe my now sweaty palms on my dress and grab my purse. I take one last deep breath and open the door.
I'm greeted with the most delicious sight. Wyatt, in dark fitted jeans, a forest green Henley stretched over his chiseled chest, and a leather jacket. By the time my eyes finally drift up to his face, I see that he has a huge grin that shows off his perfect teeth and makes him look undeniably sexy and sweet. His blue eyes sparkle and pop out all the more thanks to his dark hair and long eyelashes. I don't stand a chance against this man.
“You look gorgeous, Ember,” he says. “Absolutely stunning.” The heat in his eyes lets me know he’s telling the truth.
“Th-thanks,” I stutter out. “You look gorgeous too. I mean, nice. Handsome.”UGH. Why am I so awkward? I shake my head and look down at my shoes.
Wyatt tips my head up by placing a finger under my chin. “Don’t hide from me, beautiful,” he says softly, giving me a warm and sincere smile.
I clear my throat and reach for my jacket hanging from the coat rack. Wyatt takes it from me and holds it out so I can slip it on. It’s such an old-fashioned and oddly intimate gesture. Something an old married couple might do. Yet it fits Wyatt perfectly, showing his desire to take care of me even in this small way.
He rubs his hands up and down my arms once my coat is on, and then presses a kiss on the top of my head. Again, it feels intimate yet perfect. Like the most natural thing in the world.
“Ready, angel?”
I smile at his endearment for me and nod my head. Wyatt guides me outside with a hand at the small of my back. I feel the heat of it even through my coat, which makes my heart pulse erratically. It also makes other, lower parts of me pulse.
