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“I planned on it,” he said. “I deserve it after that.”
“Oh, stop,” she said. “You had fun and you know it. I saw you snapping pictures of me.”
“I couldn’t resist,” he said. “You know, something to look back on in years. You can show the kids how much fun you had because you know they won’t believe it. I never wanted to believe my parents did anything fun.”
Her smile was in place and she was just staring at him and he wasn’t sure if he said something he shouldn’t have. Maybe he pushed too fast again, but he couldn’t always help the way he felt.
“You know, that might have been the right thing to say without even realizing it.”
“That’s good. What part was right?” he asked.
“You’re talking about the future. Looking back and showing the kids. You didn’t say our kids or your kids, just the kids. Like you didn’t want to pressure me but wanted me to know where your mind is.”
“I nailed it then,” he said. “If that is how you read it.”
“I did. I know we’ve talked about this before.”
“Yep. You know what you want in the future and it jives with mine. Now it’s if we both get there together. That is how I see it.”
“Then that is how I see it too,” she said, her hand reaching for his.
29
Blaming Himself
“Rick. It’s so good to talk to you. How have you been?”
He’d seen the call coming in from Dean and realized it’d been months since they’d talked. And by talking, just a few texts here and there. How could they have been so inseparable for years and then lost communication completely? That’s where his guilt came from blaming himself.
They built something wonderful and successful in his eyes, but not as successful in Dean’s. He knew it.
Dean thought too big. He wanted the world. He wasn’t good enough to get it.
In Rick’s eyes, they made out damn well and should be thrilled with the outcome.
Dean was at first, until he started to lose it all.
His friend had never blamed Rick verbally, but Dean felt the pain and it sucked him in too. Maybe Rick needed to get away for a lot of reasons. Not just what his friend was going through, but the friendship he’d felt was lost over what Dean’s wife had done.
“Great, Dean. How about you? We’ve only had a few texts going on since I moved here.”
“Yeah,” Dean said. “I know. I’m sorry about that. Life has been nuts. I was wondering if you’d be up for a visit? I’m in New York City right now. Had an interview and decided to stay a few days hoping I could come to town and see you. If you’re not too busy with work or anything.”
“That’d be great,” he said. “Let me give you my address. You’re less than three hours away. Come up and stay the night. I’ve got room.”
He was thrilled he had the spare room for this reason. Not that anyone had used it yet.
“You’re sure it’s not too much trouble? You’re not busy with work or anything?”
“Work is good,” he said. “It’s flexible. I’ve got a few meetings, but they will be done before you get here and I can take the time off tomorrow to hang out.”
“Great,” Dean said. “I’ll see if I can change my flight out of Albany for the return home.”
“See you in a few hours,” he said, hanging up the phone.
He texted Gillian to tell her Dean was coming tonight. She’d planned on it too and he wanted her to meet his old partner, but she might not want to stay the night. He’d give her the option.
She called him a few minutes later. “That’s great,” she said. “You don’t talk about him much. I wasn’t sure if you even were in communication with him.”
