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Bella and your father are right, I don’t belong in your world. I will never be accepted. I’d bring too much drama to you and your family. I wish things were different for us, Ezra, it'd be easier if we came from the same society.
I am sorry I couldn’t say all of this to your face. It would have been too hard, and I know if we were in the same room, you’d probably talk me out of it. I hate myself for leaving you when I promised you I wouldn’t, but you need to understand it is too much. I don’t want to be the cause of you losing custody of the baby because the little one needs you more than I do.
I love you, Ezra, with my entire being, and after reading this letter you may not believe it, but it is the truth. I will miss you more than you will ever know.
Please don’t try to find me. I am changing my number too. You need to concentrate on mending your relationships and raising bubba. Maybe one day we will cross paths, but until then you need to forget about me and move on.
I am sure you will hate me, and I can’t blame you, but you need to remember I am not doing this out of spite. I honestly believed we were meant to be, but there is so much that happened, and maybe we aren’t supposed to be together after all.
I hope you find everything you want in life. Everything you deserve. Be happy, my love. You deserve the world.
I am sorry it has come to this.
I love you, Ezra
Alana xx
I read it repeatedly, each time my heart breaking a little more.
“NO!” I scream in anger, and before I can stop myself I trash the apartment, tears now running down my cheeks.
Everything breakable, I break. And I watch as everything in the place shatters into pieces, a great metaphor for my heart right now. I collapse to my knees in the middle of the wreckage and lose it. I bury my face in my hands and sob. I am not one for showing emotions, not to this extent, but the pain running through me is one I have never experienced before.
How could she leave me like this? Disappear and only leave a letter behind? After everything we have been through. You aren’t supposed to do these things to the person you love. I was willing to give up everything for her, and she does this?
I can’t put all the blame on Alana, though. I am the one who ignored her for more than a week. I would have thought the same if the roles were reversed, that she had given up on me. I could never, but I understand why she believed it. She didn’t have to leave! She could have given me a chance to explain.
I grab my cell from my pocket to call her. Yes, she said she was going to change her number, but with any luck she hasn’t yet. It takes me a second to find her name because my hands are shaking. It rings, and it gives me a little hope, until it goes to voicemail.
“Alana, please call me back. You can’t do this to me. I am sorry you haven’t heard from me, but I promise it isn’t what it seems. Nothing has changed. I love you. Don’t leave me, Alana, I beg you. I need you.” I whimper before hanging up.
I don’t know what to do without her. Alana has become my entire world, and not having her around is going to feel like a piece of me is missing. I need to find her. We can’t leave things like this.
* * *
It has been a long day, and I have been checking my cell constantly, but there is still nothing.
“What the hell is wrong with you today? You have done nothing but mope around since I came home,” Bella snaps, her irritation beside me palpable.
“Nothing. I am fine,” I reply, refusing to make eye contact with her.
“Let me guess, you went to see your little slut, and she wasn’t there?” she hisses.
She grabs my attention when she says this. I fling myself around to face her. “Alana told me you stopped by. What did you do or say to her?” I ask, staying calm, no matter how badly I want to be angry I can’t afford to lose control.
“The truth. I told her you don’t really love her. She would never fit in our world, and if she didn’t disappear and end things with you, then you wouldn’t be part of your baby's life.” I swear I can see the hint of a smirk on her lips.
“You had no damn right, Bella. Why would you do this? You don’t even love me. I don’t love you. You threatened to keep my baby from me?” I snap. I can’t hold back any longer.
It is bad enough she scared Alana off, but to use our baby to her advantage, that is seriously fucked up.
“Yes. If you want to be in your baby’s life, then those are the rules. I will ensure you never see your child if you go anywhere near Alana again. So, make your choice, Ezra, because once you do, there is no going back.” She says it so smugly.
“You wouldn’t? That is cruel, Bella, even for you. Yes, I should have ended things with you before I started things with Alana, but you using our baby to blackmail us is fucking wrong,” I snarl, glaring at her.
An evil laugh falls from her lips. “Try me, babe.” She gets to her feet and walks away. I sit here dumbfounded, trying to take in everything Bella said to me. And the worst thing is, I believe her. She would do it, especially if she didn’t get her way.
I love Alana so damn much, and I want to make a life with her, but after what Bella just said, I might need to keep my distance from her until I work out a plan. My baby needs to come first. I have no idea what I can do to stop Bella from doing such a thing, but I have time to work it out.
I shouldn’t have to choose, but I may just have to. And no matter what, my child needs to come first. My time with Alana has been incredible, and she has made me feel things I haven’t allowed myself to feel before. She helped me come to terms with my past and begin to heal.
I don’t believe our story is over. I refuse to let it end like this.
