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How can she think that is all there is? If she didn’t mean anything to me, I wouldn’t have done everything I did for her.
“Come on now, beautiful, deep down, you know that isn’t true,” I protest, caressing her cheek with my thumb.
“I don’t know anything these days.” She sighs, shaking her head.
I slip my arm around her, and bring her into me. Holding her close I capture her lips with mine. She hesitates at first, but then a tiny moan comes from her lips. She drops her bags to the ground and wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back. If the situation was different the kiss we are sharing in the pouring rain would be quite romantic.
I part from her lips. “Alana, I care about you too. I have become rather fond of you, and it-it's hard to imagine my life without you in it. I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I stammer out, not one for sharing my feelings.
She opens her eyes to look at me. “You do?” she asks with surprise on her face and in her voice.
“I do. I am sorry I hurt you and made you feel like you didn’t mean a thing to me.” Alana smiles at me, but after a moment, her expression changes, and she steps back.
“What does it matter how we feel? It doesn’t change things because you are still with Bella, right?” she says in a shaky voice.
“Yes,” I answer shamefully.
“Then what is the point in all of this? The point in you searching for me, because nothing has changed, Ezra.” She is crying again, and her eyes are full of sadness.
“I will break up with her, but I need you to trust me and give me some time, Alana, please, I beg you.” Reaching for her hand I hope she can see how earnest I am.
“Why do you need time? What is stopping you from doing it now?” I don’t think she trusts me yet, not entirely, and I can’t blame her for that.
“Because I need to be very careful with how I do it. Bella could ruin me because she is rather good at playing the victim, as you know, and I wouldn’t put it past her to make up some horrible story about me to make sure everyone turns against me. Plus, I don’t want to upset my parents. Please, baby, just give me a little time, a couple of weeks, and I will end things for good, and we can be together openly.” I know it is a lot to ask, but I need time.
“How do I know you will do it, Ezra? How do I know you aren’t just telling me what I want to hear?” she argues, massaging her forehead.
“I promise I will. I need you to trust me, Alana. I’ll do anything to prove to you I will do it. I only want to be with you.”
She doesn’t say anything, she just stands here, staring at me for the next couple of minutes, trying to work out if I am being truthful.
“Fine! But if you haven’t broken up with her by the deadline you promised me we are done, for good, and I mean it this time. I refuse to be nothing more than second best.” Her words are firm, and her stare stern.
“Okay, deal,” I reply, pecking her lips. “Now can we please get out of the rain before you end up sick?” She must be soaked right through and freezing because I sure am.
“I still have nowhere to go, Ezra, and I refuse to stay in the hotel again because you have already spent way too much of your money on me.” I could try to argue with her, but I don’t think it will work this time.
“You can come to my house,” I blurt out.
“I don’t think so, somehow. I am sure Bella would not be amused to find a strange woman staying at your house.”
“She won’t know. I will tell her and everyone else I am sick and to stay away because I am contagious. We can spend some proper time alone together, just you and me.” It could work, and Alana can’t complain because I am not spending more money on her because I own the house.
“Is it such a good idea, Ezra?” She sighs, rubbing her forehead.
“Yes, it is a great idea. We can use the time to get to know each other, work things out between us, and have fun, just you and me locked away for the next week. I think it sounds pretty damn perfect.” I grin, hoping she will say yes.
Alana giggles. “Okay, but only if you let me help around the house and help me find a job?” she bargains.
“I have a cleaner, but if it makes you feel better then yes, I will let you help out and search for a job.” I smile.
“Good! Now come on because I am freezing and need a warm cup of tea.” I pick her things up from the ground with one hand and use my free hand to take hers, and together we run back to my car.
I am excited to have the next week alone with her because my gut tells me it will be good for us and bring us closer. I just need to make sure everyone stays away.
The driveto Ezra’s place has been silent, but it’s a comfortable one. His hand has been on my knee the entire time. I am still trying to get my head around the fact that Ezra has spent the night searching for me. I don’t know if agreeing to be with him while he is still with Bella is a good idea, but I can’t help it. He has done so much for me, and it isn’t easy to fight my feelings. No one has ever looked out for me the way he has. I am nervous about staying at his place because what if someone shows up? How the hell do we explain my presence there?
If Ezra didn’t show up, I had planned to sleep on the street and scrape enough money together for a bus ticket to anywhere that wasn’t here. I thought I had hit breaking point, but Ezra walking out on me hit me hard, and I honestly had enough. I wanted to run away and start over somewhere new.
